Reunion of Robert Redford and Barbara Streisand on Oprah

Yeah on Oprah.  Though I am not an Oprah fan, I watched this reunion and when Robert Redford walked out, it made me cry.  Why?  Because there has always been something in Mr. Redford’s demeanor that reminds me of Michael Jackson.  Watch him; his eyes, his smile, his gentleness, his compassion.  He has always reminded me of Michael and the life that Michael too should have had.  When he walked out you could see the real love and affection these two had for each other.  It was real and it was beautiful.

It took me back to June 25, 2009, and losing Michael.  We will never get to see him do a reunion show with the loves of his life; Diana Ross, Brooke Shields, Tatiana, Lisa Marie.  Never.  We will never see him as an aged yet still beautiful human being getting the accolades and trributes he so justly deserved.  It is never going to happen. We will never see him get to see his childrens’ eyes as they adoringly watch as their father is being honored.  That was stolen from him.  It was stolen from us.

Yes, I watched Oprah Winfrey and I cried.  Maybe I’m just a silly, sentimental fool.  But for Michael, I’m willing to be all of that and more.  Michael never got what he deserved.  He was just 50, still young and with still so much more to give.  We still had so many years yet to go before he reached the ripened golden ages of Redford and Streisand.  But nothing would have warmed my heart more than to get to witness him getting there and enjoying the benefits of his successes over all those years.  Nothing.

Michael Jackson, you should still be dancing your dream.  Your candles burned out long before your Legend ever will.  And I do love you, forever more, and still.  Forever Speechless.

When is the world going to appologize?

Sitting at work today and skimming over some posts made on various fan sites for Michael Jackson I began to feel so very sad for Michael.  I could almost feel him moving in my heart, uncomfortable with the words my eyes were seeing.  It almost made me physically ill.

When is enough time going to pass where the questions of the 1993 allegations are all satisfactorily answered and the world is at last, convinced that Michael was victimized by that family, thus making it not news worthy anymore?  Is it ever going to happen?

The same with the 2005 trial and its lack of credible evidence forcing a not guilty verdict return on all counts.  The books written, the professional interviews well publicized proving a case of an entire family out to maliciously persecute Michael Jackson out of greed.  The witch hunt of an inept, biased, vindictive District Attorney and his prosecutorial team should be the ones made the object of disgust.  But no, that’s not good enough, or news worthy enough to keep the hate going.  What in heaven and on earth will it take to make all of that simply go away?  When can we be done with that and move on to what is important; correcting many if not all of the wrongs done to Michael Jackson simply because he was who he was by design and purpose?  He is owed complete and full retribution and apologies are owed to his children, his mother, his family, his friends.  What exactly must one do, how much pain must one endure, how much shame and humiliation must one be forced to suffer for petty whimsical amusement?  

Michael Jackson was a human being with feelings and emotions.  He was soft spoken, gentle and kind.  I cannot even imagine how sad and betrayed he must’ve felt much of his life on this planet, the one he loved and honored and cherished more than life itself.  Can you imagine?  I simply cannot, not by any means.  But I hurt for him, and that hurt feels like a deep, festering, open sore.  To him it must’ve been likened to a hot stabbing dagger thrust into his soul, his heart, constantly twisting and tearing and pulling him apart.  No mercy. No peace.  After so many beatings emotionally, I had begun to see the pain in his eyes;   he tears formed behind them before they would fall.  I can almost hear his prayers; feel his loneliness and his solitude and his lack of understanding “why he was the object of such hatred and persecution” when he had done so much for so many.  What did he do that he should deserve this existence?  Did God turn away from him and allow all these monsters and demons to ravish him? What did Michael Jackson do that he became so alienated and ostracized?   He loved. He loved God, the world, people.  Those were his only crimes.  In this world where everything is about envy, greed, and excess love has little value.   Michael Jackson who was about love and non worldly things became nothing more to those who used him but a stepping stone to get to a position in life where they felt important.  It mattered not that they were breaking his back as a result of it.

The trial is coming and guess who’s back - Yeah…him

…Martin Bashir on MSNBC debuting on 2/28/2011.  This is an insult to Michael Jackson, his children, his mother, his family and  a slap in the face to all who love him.  How convenient that Martin be hired “just in the nick of time” to report on the trial.  How amazingly convenient.  He really should be behind bars for his unconventional, purposely maninipulative style of mis representation of his subject.  But, such is the way of the world.  What puzzles me is how a man can be so arrogant and pompous as to literally lead a kind, loving, innocent human being down a path of total destruction that culminated in his death and be able to sit tall in front of millions and contine to perpetuate the fraud?  As if he did nothing wrong; as if he had no hand in Michaels demise.  Martin Bashir destroyed Michael Jackson.  He killed his spirit long before the Conrad Murrays of the world were even thought about.  He made Michael into a lonely, reclusive, terrified man.  He made Michael lose his belief in humanity and mankind.  He took away Michael’s strength, his light, when he made it impossible for him to carry on the mission he worked tirelessly to achieve; healing the world through love for our children.  Now he sits high on his throne, unscathed, as if he is a law abiding, upstanding human being.  How does that happen?  Why?  Because America allowed it.  Michael Jackson was America’s brightest star and America sat back and allowed him to be shot down.  America did not stand by, beside, nor behind him.  He was not cherished or protected by her.  She turned her back on him and never once glanced over her shoulder to make sure that he was okay.  I am an American and I am ashamed at how we dishonored and failed to embrace this  hero, this legend, this irreplaceable treasure.  What message do we send to the planet when we still allow people like Martin Bashir to sit in representation of us?  Speak for us?  Report for us?  Ask yourselves then tell me if I am delusional.  Many think that I am.  But then, so did they think the same of Michael Jackson at times.  I’ll say this and I’m done for now; being delusional it seems sometimes puts one in the company of angels and saints  i.e. Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King, Michael Jackson… Need I go on?

Michael was...

When I think back over the life of Michael Jackson, I become saddened.  Why? Because I see a man who was thrust into the world as a very young child, too young to understand what manner of evil lay in wake for him.  He was from the very start a bright, exuberant, enthusiastic, self assured child whose trust came naturally.  He was inquisitive, determined, happy, and remarkably talented even then.  He was a prodigy. He was born with everything he would ever need to carry him above and beyond. He worked hard, yes. But he also perfected everything he set out to do. It was always excellent.  ALWAYS.  Yet he never felt it was as good as it could be. Unbelievable! Michael Jackson was God’s gift to humanity. I believe that.  Never before and never again will there ever be one whose light was so bright that it shone in everything he touched be it music or dance, art or creative writing, speaking or singing.  God granted him everything he woud require to hone his craft and he gave him a heart big enough to hold so much love that it simply oozed out of him no matter how people tried to persecute him.  He never hardened.  He just wasn’t made that way.

I will always love him.  Nothing can ever sway my belief that he was purposely put in our midst to save us from ourselves.  So many just didn’t get it and never will.  Their loss.  Yet it doesn’t change the facts.  He was given a Judas who lived in his midst.  He was criticized and ostracized and lied on and denied the life, love, liberty and pursuit of happiness promised to every human being, by human beings, who are fallible and ever changing.  He was rediculed, persecuted, prosecuted and then he was crucified.  Same story.  Different time.

How long will it take for the world to heed the messages:  Know your history lest you be forced to re-visit it.

Sadly, we just did.

Today is just another day

…but it is a day that has me filled with all kinds of mixed emotions.  Up one minute.  Down the next.  I read Martin Bashir is coming back to MSNBC on the 28th of February.  How is this so?  What can we do or say to get the point across that Martin Bashir is a co-conspirtor in a murder… a very monumental, complex murder?  I mean at times it gets depressing.  It is nearing time for the trial of Conrad Murray and deep down inside I feel he’s not going to get what he deserves.  Yet I pray I am wrong and that he will at least be found guilty on this lesser charge he has been given.  4 years for murdering in cold blood, an angel.  God must surely be disgusted with this world and its people.  I don’t know how much longer I can continue to allow this to disparage me.  I am only one and powerless to make any changes big enough to make a real difference.  Still I try.  If only the world knew what that man meant in my life.  If only they knew how many times I have turned on and listened to his words or read his books or just looked into those calming, beautiful eyes and found solace in an otherwise chatotic existence.  He saved me.  How can I not be there for him?  I can’t not be.  I made a promise to myself on June 25, 2009, that I would see it through; stand up and be counted in the numbers of those who would do all in their power to institute the change he lived and died for.  I will not stop now.  I am tired.  I am weary.  But when I think of all he did, and how weary he must have been, and all the pains he suffered to make sure that the world would be made better for those who were weak and sick and disheartened, I gather that second wind.  It is coming.  It is going to be hard.  But I will stand with the millions upon millions and hold my head high.  Michael Jackson needs our voices.  He cannot speak for himself.  Dr. Conrad Murray killed Michael Jackson.  Time has not changed that.  And… it never will.  All he asked is that we be there, to cry at the same time, and never let go of his hand.  Across the continents, let his will be done.

In my trials, and my tribulations - will you still care? Will you be there?

The IV bag had propofol just poured into it and the reason I believe an actual bottle was inside was because Murray dropped it in while filling the IV and was either too damn sorry or didn't want to put his hand in there to pull it out.  This bastard just filled the bag with propofol and left Michael in the room so so he could go and talk to his whores or what ever the hell he was occupying his time with, without having to to be disturbed by his patient needing is assistance.  If that's not a socio psycho path, then who is?  Even with all of that being illustrated, they are still going to try to say that Michael injected or even drank the stuff himself.  They are trying still to implicate that the empty bottle (200 ml) found on the floor and the syringe and the broken needle are all the handy work of Michael injecting or trying to inject himself.  I'm not buying it.  Not for one second.  And for Joe jackson to be buddied up with Brian Oxman outside his son's hearing for his murder, still implying that Michael was an addict, is scandalous and a damn shame.  All Joe wants is publicity so he can win or try to win his case against AEG.  He is actually having his civil case heard during Michael's criminal death case.  So where does his priorities lie?  Scandalous!  A poor excuse for a man and/or a father.  Has he ever really LOVED MICHAEL JACKSON?  I mean really.  Why not give the media something to make fun of again, Joe.  Wow.  Way to go.

But I digress, the loophole that will probably allow this foolishness to be allowed in court is Murray saying that he gave MJ 25 ml of the drug which would put him down for only 10 minutes.  Murray claiming "conveniently" not to have been in the room for longer than that gives him his alibi., and a window of opportunity for him to assert that he wasn't in there so unless someone else entered and injected MJ, then MJ injected himself.  This is going to get ugly, especially next week when they discuss the autopsy.  Don't think I'll be able to take hearing all the details of Michael being dissected.  I don't think I can.

All of this is driving me insane.  It's unbelievable and unbearable to think that almost 1000 ml of this shit was put into Michael's body because it was an "inconvenience" to Murray to do what he was getting overly paid to do. That man should be institutionalized forever.  He is a menace to society, better yet, the devil incarnate.  Evil inside and out.

Keep praying and please write a letter to the DA and ask that they up the charges in this case.  It is a travesty of justice for this man to only be facing at the most 4 years, if he even gets that.  This is sinful and I know God is not satisfied.  Look at all the apocalyptic things that are happening since Michael's death.  Read Revelations.  They'd better wake up and recognize.  2012 might just be more than a prediction.  It feels like the end is surely near.  You don't mess with God's children.  Did they learn nothing from history?

Another year has gone, and I'm still all alone

We ushered out 2010 and welcomed in 2011.  What a difference a day makes, or so they say.  How wonderful it would be to say that this for me was a joyous occasion, a cause for celebration.  But in truth, I cannot.  I take things one day at a time. So yesterday was not much different than the day before in that I am still relatively at square one in that there is still no change in status regarding the Dr. Conrad Murray case.  I simply cannot move on.  I have tried to tell myself that patience is a virtue in hopes that it would allow me to turn some of my angst into the ability to relax and let go.  But it has not.  I'm totally stuck and I fear I will continue to be until there is finally some solution if not resolution.

Needless then to say that I am holding my breath, counting the hours, the minutes for this trial to finally get  on.  And I am feverently praying with all that is in me that the conclusion will be a worthy one.  Nothing in my life is more important.  It seems the wait has been lifelong.

I do know that I am blessed to have lived to see this day.  It looked kinda questionable for a while, but God had my back so here I stand.  I guess even He knew that if given just one more day to bring me a step closer to seeing some resolve, would render me His worthy servant with every breath that I take.  I thank him every single day for each day he allows me to wake up and continue to live on this planet.  Then I thank him twice for allowing me another day to fight for the injustices the world continues to heap onto Michael Jackson.  God obviously know my heart better than even I do.  I'm sure that he knws Michael's too and he will not let him fall.  I know he won't.