It has been 41 Months . . .

…When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long 
and you think that love is only
for the lucky & the strong  
Just remember in the winter 
far beneath the bitter snows, 
lies the seed that when the sun LOVES 
in the spring becomes a Rose

...and I still love you more

I will always love you. What more need I say...

Always remember & never forget Michael’s first love, the children.

Michael’s Heart Will Go On...

As I close this chapter in my life, I end it on a bitter sweet note.  I have loved Michael it seems all my life.  I will not stop loving him now or ever.  As long as I live, he will always be a part of me.  His heart beats inside all of us who love him so it will never cease to be.  I will die, we all will, but even as we depart this thing called life, brand new life is breathed and Michael’s legacy passes down from generation to generation. He will live forever in the hearts of the universe.

This is my last entry here, but not my last musing about Michael Jackson.  Sometimes spoken words are not required.  It’s simply understood.

Michael J. Jackson is the truest love I never knew because he proved over and over again, through word & deed, that he loved us more, and that kind of love is only once in a lifetime.

Good night, Angel
Sleep well
Forever speechless, Cassie
11/17/2012

Twins

Michael & Blanket side by side.

Just feeling a little down today

So I looked for a poem that expressed to some extent what I’m feeling.  There has been too much suffering and too much death in this world of late.  God is trying to tell us something…

Whenever I think of suffering and the death of one who’s gone too soon, I think of this poem by Joanna Fuchs.  I think many would agree that when that person we think of is Michael, something to the following affect comes to mind.


If We Could Bring You Back Again
If we could bring you back again,
For one more hour or day,
We’d express all our unspoken love;
We’d have countless things to say.
If we could bring you back again,
We’d say we treasured you,
And that your presence in our lives
Meant more than we ever knew.
If we could bring you back again,
To tell you what we should,
You’d know how much we miss you now,
And if we could, we would.


Missing my angels…Raphael & Michael

40 months today...

Sometimes it feels like 40 years…

Michael, I miss you and I’ll always love you more

To Debbie, with love

It wasn’t until I watched this video a couple of years ago that I learned what an incredible, amazing woman you were.  Immediately, my heart changed and I knew that if ever Michael had a true soul mate, one who would stand by him and fight for him, love him unconditionally and be content to accept that to love him in his way was good enough, that soul mate was you, the mother of his children.  I wish I could one day just sit and talk to you.  There was a glow in your eyes and a warmth that came over you that could not be denied as you talked about him and his goodness.  Anyone who watched it could see the love, l.o.v.e.  And it broke my heart that the world did not because it didn’t know how to allow you to continue to share that love.  It is a travesty.

It seems to me so unfair and so inhumane that someone with the heart of Michael Jackson would live his last days and breathe his last breath alone and lonely, hooked to a machine that would suck the life out of him.  It is not right and my heart cannot settle in knowing that.  He deserved so much more.  I ask God everyday to show me the message in it all, and what I’ve learned to accept though stubbornly, is that Michael’s death was the catalyst that released love into the world.  It seems that in order for his vision to be seen, his message to be heard, he had to physically die.  Unfair as it seems, if it be God’s will then I have to accept it.  And that’s what keeps me sane.

I know you must have so many loving memories, your little secrets.  But I would give the world to just sit and listen and imagine what it would be like to know the kind of love you shared with the most sought after human being in the world.  I’ve never known a love like that and I’m sure at this juncture in my life that I never will.  But it warms me so much to have been made a party to the conversations you shared in this interview.

So to you, Debbie Rowe, I say God Bless you for giving Michael some sense of normalcy and for giving him 2 of his 3 most treasured gifts, Prince and Paris; and the one thing that seemed to have escaped him most of his adult life, true, unselfish love.  It made my heart sing to know finally that Michael had known that kind of grown folk love given 100% by a normal, no nonsense, working class REAL woman.  HELLO!  Haters eat your hearts out, lol!

Thank you Debbie, from the bottom of my heart.  I love you because you loved him and you’re not afraid to show it.  Way to go, Debbie.  Way to go!