I do believe that God is coming back...

and he is clearing a path by which to walk from one hemesphere to the next.  He is tearing down the monuments man has built to honor himself.  He is swathing out the follage that has been unkempt and neglected.  He is moving the waters that have become tainted and stagnated and littered with refuse and waste.  He is making a path across this planet that was left in our care that he now finds unfamiliar and unrecognizable.  He is on His way back and He will not tolerate any stumbling blocks in His way.  Recognize the signs.  Know the promise. Heed the prophesy.  It’s all there as clear as day and night.

If one is true to ones self, then we have no other option but to acknowledge that something beyond human experience is happening to this planet.  The mountains are being moved.  The waters are being parted.  The heavens are opening up and spewing venom; doing its job, taking care to ensure that nothing stands in the way of the second coming.  No one is special, nothing is sacred.  If we are so vain as to believe that these things are “just happening” without a rhyme or reason, then we are wearing blinders.  What is happening now is out of our hands.  We have no power against it.  Neither money, nor status, nor gold, nor silver; nothing is fair barter.  God is sending His message, a powerful message.  He seems to be saying that if we have not learned by our own merit to live together, love and help each other, then we will never what to live is all about.  It is obvious to me that love is the only answer, that communion and compassion is all that is important in this life. Nothing else matters when everything you can build, with all that money can buy can be diminished to nothing, completely useless under the powers of the heavens and the earth in the twinkling of an eye.

Look around you, everywhere.  Look at how we are forced to take care of our neighbor.  Look at how swiftly the monuments that we’ve built from years of sweat and toil and greed and selfishness, all fall down.  Things.  Riches. They are all worthless, useless.  People are trying to find ways to go underground, to go into space, to try to get away, to save themselves.  But they can’t.  There is nowhere to go.  A penny, a billion dollars, none of it is worth a thing.  Look around.  There is a mode of natural disaster that can find you no matter whre you try to run.  God is coming back.  Soon.  The signs of the times are upon us.  They are already here.  You can almost feel it.  It’s in the air that we breathe.

I have never been one to talk doom and gloom.  But when I see those things that have been foretold unfold right before my eyes in rapid succession, it is undeniable.  It’s out of our hands.

I do not know what with any certainty what role Michael Jackson was sent here to fulfill.  But I do believe he was sent, and that he did as best any human could have done, to spread joy and love to this planet.  He tried to give us “the message”.  He worked tirelessly and relentlessly even when it meant sacrificing himself to do so.  He was a worthy messenger.  Not a better choice of human could have been chosen.  He did his job with grace and with dignity and with compassion.  Perhaps somewhere an invisible pact was made with God and Michael that gave Michael x number of years to do all he could to bring as many people humanly possible together within the bounds of that time.  Maybe Michael knew his hour.  Maybe he knew his destiny.  Sometimes when I looked into Michael’s eyes they seemed to be bottomless and infinite; and his facial expression, there was something in it that was so familiar and all emcompassing.  A look of what more can I give, what more can I do;  a look of hope combined with a look of  despair; a look of today, yestrday and tomorrow.  It shone in his eyes.  It seemed he had an energy all around him, in every inch of his being, an energy that could project outward and touch a million people and pull each one of us close to his heart collectively yet individually. Arch Angel Michael.  I still do believe.

I know that God is coming back, and I can sense it will be soon.  I only hope that when he comes that he will find me at least somewhat worthy to even glance upon his face, and humbly enter into his kingdom.  I don’t know the time, the hour.  But I knowin my spirit that this is it.  I also know without any doubt that our Michael is already there.

Be blessed.  Love is our only salvation.  Love. L.O.V.E.

Gravity - John Mayer (I love this song) It’s killing me softly...

Gravity is working against me
and gravity, wants to bring me down
oh, I’ll never know
what makes this man
with all the love that his heart can stand
dream of ways to throw it all away...

Oh, woe, gravity
is working against me
and gravity wants to bring me down
oh twice as much aint twice as good
and can’t sustain
like one half could
it’s wanting more
that’s gonna send me to my knees

oh…oh gravity
stay the hell away from me
oh, gravity…
has taken better men than me
but how can that be
just keep me where the light is
just keep me where the light is
just keep me where the light is
come on keep me where the light is
come on keep me where, keep me where
the light is..


Where the light is Michael.
I know you’ll always be there.
Happy Easter
God bless you.

Dear God...

I come to you with a heavy heart on this day.  My soul is searching.  I ask you dear Father, what is the meaning, the lesson to be learned in losing Michael Jackson so soon?  What is the message?  To love each other as we love ourselves?  To be kind?  To be true to thine self?  Did we really have to sacrifice Michael in order for those things to take shape?  I do not fully understand and it has crippled me from the day he went away.  If the message is to be true to thine self, then that I must do.  In so doing, I must admit that I was living my life for the better part of the last 10 years doing me.  I was in my own selfish world, listening to hip hop music, going to concerts, enjoying everything around me as if I were entitled to do so; and hardly ever did I think about what might have become the plight of Michael Jackson.  I had all but put him on the back burner of my life and moved on with only an occasional glance back towards the one who had given me so much joy in my life. Only when I would hear his soft voice, a song would come on my radio, see his lovely smile and castch those smooth moves on a video, did I drift back into the old familiar.  And no sooner than the melancholy wore off, as soon as it was over, I was gone back to my own selfish life, putting him away again.  However, that old magic was returning when I heard he was going to perform again.  I was high on the thought of it.  Still, I selfishly thought, later.  When he decides to come back to my hometown, then I’ll get excited.  No need to rush.  Little did I know.  Too late the hero,

If to thine own self be true, I am being as truthful today as I can be.  I realize that unconsciously and unequivocally I did turn away from him.  Not intentionally, but I did.  How doesn’t even matter now.  That i did is what haunts me everyday of my life now.  And it makes me wonder, if I could do that, probably so could have many others.  Did we leave Michael when he needed us most?  Did I?  You don’t need to answer that question, Father,  I can do it myself.  Yes. I did and I am paying dearly for it with every breath I take, with every heartbeat, with every tear that constantly falls from my eyes.   I promised that I would be there.  I promised.  My words exactly, that only you, Father, could keep me from it.  Ad somehow, I turned away and allowed Michael to slip out of this life alone.  And everyday since, I have suffered for it.

There is not a day that goes by, not a night, that I don’t find myself lost in thoughts of him, wondering how alone he must have felt.  I wonder did he cry.  I wonder was he in pain.  I wonder did he feel destitute and alienated from all the people he sacrificed his very life for.  I wonder what were his last thoughts, his last gathering of thoughts about the world and the people in it that he gave up everything for.  I wonder.

I have learned one thing profoundly in the wake of Michael’s plight, to love those who are important to me everyday as much or more than the day before.  I have learned to see the beauty in the mundane.  I have learned that precious moments are really precious moments and that they should not be taken for granted or wasted on frivolities.  Things pass, moods change, life goes on until, but when it is over it’s too late to go back and change things.  It’s to late to say, I wish I had loved you more.  To late to make amends.  You never have to say you’re sorry, you never have to wish to have known when you are in tune with those around you. You never have to say I didn’t know.  If you are there emotionally and unconditionally, you just do.  I failed the test.

To Michael I say, I am sorry.  I wish I had never let go of your hand so that I could have felt the push and pull of your heart.  I lost you. You’re gone forever. I’ll never have the chance to see that smile again that I remember so well though it greets me every time I close my eyes.

You had so much of so many things, but not enough of what matters most, love returned, love shared, love, love, love.  You went away and I am forever speechless.  I cannot believe that 50 short years would be all the time allotted you for your magic to permeate the world, the planet, the universe.  Your love is magical, that’s how I feel.  It should have… you should have lived long beyond those 50 years.  You were positive vibrational energy.  You were the light of the world.  Void of you, nothing else seems to matter anymore.

I pray that one day, Michael will forgive us.  Who am I fooling, he already did.  He knew that we were weak, imperfect human beings.  He was an Angel.  He knew and he forgave.  Blessed is the pure at heart.  Just help me to forgive myself.  That’s the hard part.  You were ours.  You were never selfish.  You proved that countless times.  You never let us part.  You never turned away.  I can hear the words of your song playing clearly in my head, in my heart “don’t walk away”.  The song I can barely stand to listen to without your earthly presence.

So dear Michael, dear God, thank you for allowing me to keep him alive, if only in my heart.  I will never forget you, I will never forget love, ever again.

Thank you for the memories.  thank you for the love.  Thank you for always, always, always loving us more.

Because of you, I am changed forever.

Amen
God bless you

There is no greater Love...

than the love given to us by Jesus Christ and Michael Jackson.

They both toiled through unimaginable torture simply because they loved us and wanted more than anything for us to love each other and the planet.  That was their ONLY request and it became their greatest and only crime; love, l.o.v.e.  What manner of human being hates one so for no reason?  What manner of person considers  the premise of love the ultimate, unforgivable crime?  How does one become “that” person?  What has happened in his or her life to allow him to view one who is non-violent, and unselfish as something to loathe and persecute at will?

I leadeth thee besides the still waters… the place where both Jesus and Michael wanted us all to be, peacefully.  Yes, I place Michael Jackson in the same category that I place Jesus Christ.  They were both born of woman.  They were both magical and amusing.  They could hold us in warm captivity with a single glance, or cause us to experience euphoria with the twist of a hand.  They gave themselves away that we might have hope.  They never stopped saying “I love you” and showing it with every strength in their beings.  And they never raised a hand against those who betrayed, persecuted and prosecuted them.  Two angels on earth, who walked with us, talked with us, lived for us, died trying to protect us and show us a better way, the righteous way.  They were both Angels of God.  Michael Jackson was our generation’s Messiah, our messenger sent with a purpose… the same purpose that placed Jesus Christ on earth thousands of yeas ago.  And still, our eyes are blinded by the light and we cannot see.

Too late the hero… or could it be still too soon?  Forever is a long time.  Maybe in another couple thousand years, God will give us one more chance.  However, those of us who live today and many generations to come will never see him.  We were given a gift and we didn’t appreciate it.  Now that gift has been taken back.  How soon we forget that sometimes tomorrow never comes.

Michael was the Angel in m lifetime.  I take him with me where ever I go.  I believe in God’s promise that a child will lead us.  In my lifetime, Michael Jackson was that child.  God bless him.

I still cannot feel it… is it because I still don’t believe it?

It has been almost 2 years now and I still don’t feel like Michael is really gone.  I know in my head that he is no longer present with us; but something in my heart will not let go.  What is wrong with me?  I fall to sleep some nights and cannot rest.  It’s as if something is tugging at me, nudging me.  It won’t allow me peace.  I get up and am immediately drawn to anything Michael (of which there is quite a lot to choose from).  I have to see him, hear him; a picture, a song, a video, anything so long as it is Michael.  Nothing else will calm me.  Nothing else can calm me.  It’s as though he’s saying to me, not yet.  You cannot go to sleep without a little bit of me in your head as is always in your heart.

Sometimes it makes me sad and I cry myself to sleep with him being the last thing on my wakeful mind.  So my dreams are filled with his eyes.  Other times it makes me happy, and I dance and sing with him until near daybreak (Break of Dawn) until I am so exhausted I literally fall into his arms of blissful contentment.

I guess the only way to describe it is that Michael Jackson is so much a part of me, that at times, I feel he is still here.  He never left me and he never will.  I pray there will never be a day in my life when I can simply close my eyes and his are not there anymore.  Should that ever happen I fear will be the death of me.  I live through my every thought of him.  I will die should my thoughts ever become devoid of him.  I know it. I will.  He is the light of my life.  Thoughts of him allows my world to continue to go around.  It seems he keeps me sane in times of complete insanity.  He makes me strong, when people try with words to hurt me.  I always think of what he endured and know that words are just that, and I smile knowing that I can take it because Michael did.  He took so much more, who then am I to let it get me down?  I think of him and I stand tall.  It’s all for you Michael.  It’s all for love.

So maybe I still cannot feel it because in my world, he never died.  He simply went away to a place with noname where I can always see him when I need him.  Be it every minute or just before I lay me down.  He is always here, ever present, and his eyes are smiling.  They are beautiful