Monday, December 26, 2011
The best Christmas present I could ever receive
Thank you Barry Gibb for releasing the full video for Michel & your fans. Love you more.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Behold the Lambs of God
Today is Christmas, 2011. It is exactly two years and six months that Michael died for the sin of showing too much love to a world where love and being loved too much is the ultimate sin punishable by the ultimate sacrifice. As I sit in wonder on this day, the birth of our saviour, Jesus Christ, I am also in awe at the fulfillment of his promises to us. God came to us for only a little while in the body of Christ. He was born of a woman, and lived amongst us in the flesh so that we might see the living God through our own eyes, suffering alongside us while working miracles, and emparting unconditional selfless love unto us. He came to us as a child who grew into a man who walked with us, so that he could show us how much he understood us and that he loved us enough to suffer the same perils did we. Have you ever just sat and though how totally unselfih that was. To be loved so much that he would come with one purpose, to die for us on a cross that we be free of all our sins! I cannot describe what that does to my heart and my soul. He is the way and the truth and I shall love him always.
I have oftentimes quoted the promise that God made to us that a child shall lead them. He promised that he would come and I have always believed that that promise was fulfilled in the body of Michael Jackson. It feels he too had an ultimate purpose on this earth and that his death was the sacrifice that was its fulfillment. Sometimes God uses bad people to do good things. The death of Michael was by a bad person. But the change in the hearts of millions and millions of people only came about after the fulfillent had been done. Michael's death, just like Jesus', turned humanity around. All around me everywhere is the embodiment of what Michael Jackson's life was about. The world has changed for the good of all of us. Deeds of kindness have permiated this planet and in all of it , in every kin deed, we see visbly the workings and teachings of our angel, Michael Jackson. He too is the truth and I shall love him always.
In Ezekiel 34:25 this profound message stopped me in my tracks: "I wll make a covenant of peace with them and rid the land of wild beasts so that they may live in the desert and sleep in the forests."
At first read I thought of Michael's Neverland where animals of all types lived peacefully amongst the many people who visited and lived there. But then upon further pondering the premise became deeper. Michael Jackson not only brought about a peace with the animals and understood them, but he more profoundly was doing all in his power to increase humility and compassion and love in the world; especially for the children. He was in fact making a covenant for them to ensure that they might be safe in a world where children are abused and murdered and denied the right to a peaceful co-existence. The wild beast being the perpetrators of the world who abuse and neglect children and deny them the right to be free to roam. Michael was working to tame the beast by teaching them the values and importance of the lambs in the world, the children. How profound!
It is lessons like these that keep me constantly faithful to my belief that though Jesus is omnipotent and no one can ever match or even compare to all that he is, I believe that he having lived once upon a time amongst us knows that sometimes as human nature dictates, people need to see the work manifest by one who has lived and grew up and suffered, yet excelled to become the phoenix, the light amongst us, in order that we can relate to and respond at the level of the heart. This being the same reason that Jesus came in the flesh to abide with and dwell amongst us so many years ago.
He sends us angels because he understands our psyche and wants for us the very best. In my lifetime, with every beat of my heart, I believe that Michael Jackson was one of them.
I am not trying to force my beliefs on you, just speaking from my heart. Michael will always be an angel to me. God Bless the Lambs of God.
Have a merry Christmas my friends. Love conquers all.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Blessed are the peacemakers for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven
On this October 25, 2011 that honors the 28th month of Michal Jackson’s passing is a fitting day for the people fixed posed to give damaging testimony testify Michael Jackson to throw that proverbial monkey wrench into the proceedings.
So far, this day, none of the witnesses have done anything to shed any negativity on Michael Jackson. Why? Because there is none to be shed. They can probe and prod, push and pull but until someone says that YES, Conrad Murray made ALL the right choices in the care of his patient, then there is nothing to defend.
So on this day as we continue the monthly worldwide MajorLovePrayer for Michael Jackson dry your eyes and know that God is handling these things. He is, was and always will be in charge. Man’s court in comparison is an aboination. What they miss, God sees. What they think, God already knows. And this too shall pass.
We are not praying in vain. There is no such condition. God hears our cries and he comforts our hearts, even in the most trying of times.
If Conrad Murray is found not guilty in the Los Angeles Justice System, do not let it dissuade you. It has been proven over time that man’s court is one of truth or dare, of who say and hearsay. God’s court however is of the most high, and has always been the court of right and wrong. It is only when He levels the final gavel, that justice is done. Though we might not be witness to it, we know and believe His word . And for me, that is all I need.
Let not your hearts be troubled. God is still in charge. And Michael is sitting right by his side.
So far, this day, none of the witnesses have done anything to shed any negativity on Michael Jackson. Why? Because there is none to be shed. They can probe and prod, push and pull but until someone says that YES, Conrad Murray made ALL the right choices in the care of his patient, then there is nothing to defend.
So on this day as we continue the monthly worldwide MajorLovePrayer for Michael Jackson dry your eyes and know that God is handling these things. He is, was and always will be in charge. Man’s court in comparison is an aboination. What they miss, God sees. What they think, God already knows. And this too shall pass.
We are not praying in vain. There is no such condition. God hears our cries and he comforts our hearts, even in the most trying of times.
If Conrad Murray is found not guilty in the Los Angeles Justice System, do not let it dissuade you. It has been proven over time that man’s court is one of truth or dare, of who say and hearsay. God’s court however is of the most high, and has always been the court of right and wrong. It is only when He levels the final gavel, that justice is done. Though we might not be witness to it, we know and believe His word . And for me, that is all I need.
Let not your hearts be troubled. God is still in charge. And Michael is sitting right by his side.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
My Feelings
Father forgive them
For they know not what they do…
The life and death of Michael Jackson paints a sad commentary on the state of humanity in this country, throughout the world. To take a man who was by nature so gentle and kind and full of hope of saving the planet through love and nurturing our children, and turn him into something to be ridiculed, targeted and ostracized is shameful if not outright criminal. Michael Jackson was an innovator and a dreamer. He was a creative genius and a gifted entertainer. He was beauty inside, outside that had nothing to do with his physical attributes. Yet even those, no matter in what stage of metamorphosis you found him, were ever still appealing to the senses. He loved unconditionally, giving what he rarely received with an open hand and an open heart. He never stopped believing in the human spirit and its ability to change the world. To his death, he never stopped hoping, loving, and believing in us. When Michael cried the world cried with him. His only requests of us were to love the planet and love each other. If he were able, even now, I believe that Michael would only ask of those who persecuted him that God forgive them, with no desires for retribution. His heart was made that way not by choice but by design. To me, he was and will always be the face I see in my mind when ever I hear the word “Angel”.
How does this affect me? Words cannot begin to describe the emptiness, the aloneness, the grief, nor the pain. I feel depleted of the air I breathe when ever I think of the magnitude, the lengths that people took to insure that this gentle man would no longer be able to spin his magical web. I feel depressed in knowing with no doubt in my mind, that Michael Jackson was targeted one last time and this time they hit their mark and took him away from us forever. I am forever humbled by his grace and his courage to stand for what he believed in at any cost.
What ever the reason so much has been lost to us, especially the joy and wonderment of so many sick and dying children. Who will now speak up for them? Who will embrace them and make them feel safe and loved? Who will go to the hospitals and homes and low lying places and hold them, bring them gifts, smile with them and cry for them? Who? Who will delight an audience rendering the greatest show of their lives and then take every penny of its proceeds and donate it to them for what ever they need? Who will stand up under every pressure and continue to work and drum major their cause simply because it is the right thing to do? Who will do ALL those things and do it ONLY for love? No one! There was ONLY one and now, because of man and his greed and his envy paired with his desire to rid the world and all its goodness, he is no more…he is gone forever. And I miss the very essence of him. Knowing he no longer exists in this realm of time and space immobilizes me and dulls my senses. Knowing that he would still be here were it not for the careless antics of one who is sworn to an oath of service and care. The pain consumes me.
Now, they have sank to an all time low during this trial of Conrad Murray, parading initially a deathbed picture of Michael Jackson at the UCLA Medical Center; and now an autopsy picture of him. How long and how far is humanity willing to go to continue to depredate this man? How far? How long? Or is there ever going to be an end? Michael Jackson was a very proud man and he was very private. This is the final blow for me. There was no reason to parade his picture in front of the world like that. What was the point, and is any really good enough? The only sure end result of having it cast out into cyberspace is that it is destined to become one of the thousands of cruel jokes played at the expense of Michael Jackson. Has the world no shame as people, fellow human beings? This man has children, a mother, and siblings; people who love him globally and would give anything to see him treated with respect, treated like you and me. He is not a curiosity for show and tell. He is not a 3-eyed monster. But he has been made the poster child for all that is wrong with society; the shallowness, the envy, the lack of compassion; the bully mentality. This is what we have come to. Michael, were he here to speak, would likely only humbly ask that we forgive them, all for love, l.o.v.e. That’s the kind of human being that he was. The world was not ready for him and as has been proven time and time again. We never deserved him though he proved by example all the days of his life that he loved us more.
Sleep peacefully, sweet angel. God ordered your steps and you walked them well in your lifetime. Now you no longer have to walk amongst man. You are free at last to fly.
In eternal awe; you rocked my world and left me speechless.
CassieforMaxwell
10-12-2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
9-25-2011
25 months on this 25th day. That’s how long the world has suffered been without its light, Michael Jackson. I have been online all day today which is something I can hardly do anymore. It pains me too much. But today with Reverend Catherin whose guest were Lynton Guest nd Jon Vogel, I started off chatting with them and the soon after participated in Major Love Prayer and every Michael Jackson conversation in between. Today has been all Michael.
We talked about Invinvible and the history behind it and how we should get it to number 1 come October. I pledge to do my part to see that come into fruition. We talked about Sony and how not to support them hurts Michael’s legacy. It’s not about Sony. It’s about keeping Michael’s music alive and always heard. We taked about love, l.o.v.e. and Michael’s messages. And we talked about Michael’s light. He is thelight of the world.
The trial is starting this week, 9/27/2011 exactly 15 years to the day that I lost my son. Not a coincidence. I always feel down on 9/27 and this year would have been a very down time for me were it not for Michael Jackson. Here comes Michael to save me again. Angels do that, you know. Though I will spend my every waking hour with thoughts of my son and memories of days gone by, I cannot dwell in self pity because life goes on and there is still much work to do. My mind will be occupied with both landmarks and that will keep me sane.
For my son I say, you know how loved and missed you are. You know how precious are the memories. But you also know that I will not allow my sorrow to stop me from working for the good of man. My heart is open wide to those things that require constant care. 15 years without you has only made my dedication stronger. I do these things because of and not in spite of you. You were my world. We were of one accord and we both had a giving spirit. I continue those things in honor and in memory of you always.
As we embark on September 27, 2011, I do so with an open heart and an open mind. I know that there will be tryng times. But as it was so poignantly stated in today’s Major Love Prayer, God has his arms around Michael Jackson and his light is so bright that no one can ignore it. It will light up the world from LA to Atlanta, to Japan and Africa, and everywhere in between. Michael’s light will shine. So I have decided that no matter what happens, no matter the outcome in the courtroom on Clara Ward Blvd, Michael Jackson is already vindicated through the blood of Christ. He is lifted above man’s laws and outcomes. The verdict is already in. With that in mind I say let the games begin and let the children play God in a building made of stone. Michael is playing in a land far away and made of pure gold. As he sits back and watches the proceedings I know he will not be troubled. His children, his mother, his family, his fans will all be victorious. It’s already written. It’s already done.
Michael Jackson I love you so much that it feels like another piece of my heart was torn away. 15 years ago and again 25 months ago. But I can attest to the fact that the heart is a mighty fortress and it will sustain me as long as it be God’s will. Only His will.
So dear Michael, when all of man’s judging is said and done and this is over, you will still be the victor. They have no communion over you. Yours is the Lords. Thou will shall be done on earth as it is in heaven. It’s destiny and therfore, Invincible!
Lord have mercy on us al. Keep us strong and with our eyes on the prize. The last and greatest judgement is yours.
You still rock my world and leave me speechless. Always have. Always will.
We talked about Invinvible and the history behind it and how we should get it to number 1 come October. I pledge to do my part to see that come into fruition. We talked about Sony and how not to support them hurts Michael’s legacy. It’s not about Sony. It’s about keeping Michael’s music alive and always heard. We taked about love, l.o.v.e. and Michael’s messages. And we talked about Michael’s light. He is thelight of the world.
The trial is starting this week, 9/27/2011 exactly 15 years to the day that I lost my son. Not a coincidence. I always feel down on 9/27 and this year would have been a very down time for me were it not for Michael Jackson. Here comes Michael to save me again. Angels do that, you know. Though I will spend my every waking hour with thoughts of my son and memories of days gone by, I cannot dwell in self pity because life goes on and there is still much work to do. My mind will be occupied with both landmarks and that will keep me sane.
For my son I say, you know how loved and missed you are. You know how precious are the memories. But you also know that I will not allow my sorrow to stop me from working for the good of man. My heart is open wide to those things that require constant care. 15 years without you has only made my dedication stronger. I do these things because of and not in spite of you. You were my world. We were of one accord and we both had a giving spirit. I continue those things in honor and in memory of you always.
As we embark on September 27, 2011, I do so with an open heart and an open mind. I know that there will be tryng times. But as it was so poignantly stated in today’s Major Love Prayer, God has his arms around Michael Jackson and his light is so bright that no one can ignore it. It will light up the world from LA to Atlanta, to Japan and Africa, and everywhere in between. Michael’s light will shine. So I have decided that no matter what happens, no matter the outcome in the courtroom on Clara Ward Blvd, Michael Jackson is already vindicated through the blood of Christ. He is lifted above man’s laws and outcomes. The verdict is already in. With that in mind I say let the games begin and let the children play God in a building made of stone. Michael is playing in a land far away and made of pure gold. As he sits back and watches the proceedings I know he will not be troubled. His children, his mother, his family, his fans will all be victorious. It’s already written. It’s already done.
Michael Jackson I love you so much that it feels like another piece of my heart was torn away. 15 years ago and again 25 months ago. But I can attest to the fact that the heart is a mighty fortress and it will sustain me as long as it be God’s will. Only His will.
So dear Michael, when all of man’s judging is said and done and this is over, you will still be the victor. They have no communion over you. Yours is the Lords. Thou will shall be done on earth as it is in heaven. It’s destiny and therfore, Invincible!
Lord have mercy on us al. Keep us strong and with our eyes on the prize. The last and greatest judgement is yours.
You still rock my world and leave me speechless. Always have. Always will.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Michael’s baby girl
Happy birthday, Michael Jackson. For the rest of my life this day will hold a special meaning. It’s the day when the heavens gathered in its arms a bundle of joy and laid him into the arms of the world. We had him. He had us. For a little while. But long enough to know that God smiled on him and he gave that smile and all the love our hearts could hold to each and every one of us every day of his life.
I will love you always.
For Paris Jackson - A poem I wrote for you on Father’s Day 2009
A child is missing a father today
a father is missing a son
a wife is missing the love of her life
a mother's tears, once again has begun
The world is missing an angel
who was here, but for only a while
a magical being of song and dance
compassion, and love, and style
the most giving heart
the most beautiful smile
From all of us who loved him
on this year's Father's day
We pause just to remember you
each in our chosen way
I choose to go to church today
to send a special prayer
that mothers, fathers, children
on the planet everywhere
will never take for granted
a caring father's love
and celebrate him everyday
and pray to the heavens above
Believe….
that though he might be gone away
his love will still always sustain
for in your heart he'll be with you
to comfort and ease your pain
So here's to Michael's baby girl
of which she will always be
Paris, this is my special song
that I pass to you from me
Always know throughout your life
where ever you are in this world
that daddy saved all his butterfly kisses
for his precious, baby girl
I will love you always.
For Paris Jackson - A poem I wrote for you on Father’s Day 2009
A child is missing a father today
a father is missing a son
a wife is missing the love of her life
a mother's tears, once again has begun
The world is missing an angel
who was here, but for only a while
a magical being of song and dance
compassion, and love, and style
the most giving heart
the most beautiful smile
From all of us who loved him
on this year's Father's day
We pause just to remember you
each in our chosen way
I choose to go to church today
to send a special prayer
that mothers, fathers, children
on the planet everywhere
will never take for granted
a caring father's love
and celebrate him everyday
and pray to the heavens above
Believe….
that though he might be gone away
his love will still always sustain
for in your heart he'll be with you
to comfort and ease your pain
So here's to Michael's baby girl
of which she will always be
Paris, this is my special song
that I pass to you from me
Always know throughout your life
where ever you are in this world
that daddy saved all his butterfly kisses
for his precious, baby girl
Happy Father’s Day
Happy Birthday Michael Jackson
I’m sending balloons filled with love to you, floating free through the skies above. It always makes me sad when I think of how you would be so proud today to see all the changes made in your honor. You deserved to be present in the flesh to receive them. But as fate has dealt it’s hand in this game of life, you cannot be. And speaking frankly for me, that sucks.
But today is your day. This day 53 years ago an angel was sent down to this earth to blow us away. He came with dance and song and rhyme and reason and love so pure that it radiated from every pore in his body. That angel was Michael Jackson. As I go through this day, I will reflect on all the joy and all the gifts you gave to the world unselfishly. I honor your birth. I honor you.
Happy birthday, Michael Jackson. For the rest of my life this day will hold a special meaning. It’s the day when the heavens gathered in its arms a bundle of joy and laid him into the arms of the world. We had him. He had us. For a little while. But long enough to know that God smiled on him and he gave that smile right back to us every day of his life.
I love you, Michael. I always will.
But today is your day. This day 53 years ago an angel was sent down to this earth to blow us away. He came with dance and song and rhyme and reason and love so pure that it radiated from every pore in his body. That angel was Michael Jackson. As I go through this day, I will reflect on all the joy and all the gifts you gave to the world unselfishly. I honor your birth. I honor you.
Happy birthday, Michael Jackson. For the rest of my life this day will hold a special meaning. It’s the day when the heavens gathered in its arms a bundle of joy and laid him into the arms of the world. We had him. He had us. For a little while. But long enough to know that God smiled on him and he gave that smile right back to us every day of his life.
I love you, Michael. I always will.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
777 DAYS WITHOUT HIM
I don’t know if it was wishful thinking or a secret prayer that today something earth shattering would happen in this Michael Jackson story. 777 is the number that is synonymous with Michael; his favorite number. It’s turned out to be just another ordinary day to most peole. However, for me, it is a turning point. One that I have dreaded since June 25, 2009. It’s a day when I did not cry when I litened to Gone Too Soon. I didn’t cry and that makes me sad. That song has always brought a tear to my eye, that would slowly descend down my face. And today, my tears did not come. It scares me. I don’t want to lose Michael in my heart. But I fear, and this is my greatest fear, that Michael will fade away from me.
I don’t know if this is how other people feel, but for me, it is sad. I have started sleeping at night again. I have stopped listening to his music 24/7. I have begin to pick back up the pieces of my life… and they are beginning to fit in the right places. There was a time when none of them fit. My mind and my heart was so broken, in such disarray, that I thought I would never get back to normal again. But I feel it coming. And to me, it is not eing met with any happiness or joy.
I feel like I’m cheating him, turning my back on him, when I don’t break into a million pieces at just the mention of his name. But I don’t do it anymore. At times I feel deja vue, but most times I am able to get through it and go on to being the old me. I am afraid. I don’t want to lose Michael Jackson. I don’t want to be free. Why is he freeing me? I don’t understand.
777 days and nights of sadness is not enough. I want 777 more, and 777 again. But it seems God is healing what he sees as my wounded spirit and giving me a new beginning. Am I being ungrateful because I don’t want it? I don’t know what I will do with my life, my time. I have filled every corner of my life with Michael since 6/25/2009. He has been my focus and my every thought has been of or about him. What will I do?
There s a quote that has always been a favorite of mine, today it says what I feel about Michael Jackson’s abrupt departure from this earth:
Dear Michael, I will always love you more. When all is said and done, I will ALWAYS LOVE you MORE.
I don’t know if this is how other people feel, but for me, it is sad. I have started sleeping at night again. I have stopped listening to his music 24/7. I have begin to pick back up the pieces of my life… and they are beginning to fit in the right places. There was a time when none of them fit. My mind and my heart was so broken, in such disarray, that I thought I would never get back to normal again. But I feel it coming. And to me, it is not eing met with any happiness or joy.
I feel like I’m cheating him, turning my back on him, when I don’t break into a million pieces at just the mention of his name. But I don’t do it anymore. At times I feel deja vue, but most times I am able to get through it and go on to being the old me. I am afraid. I don’t want to lose Michael Jackson. I don’t want to be free. Why is he freeing me? I don’t understand.
777 days and nights of sadness is not enough. I want 777 more, and 777 again. But it seems God is healing what he sees as my wounded spirit and giving me a new beginning. Am I being ungrateful because I don’t want it? I don’t know what I will do with my life, my time. I have filled every corner of my life with Michael since 6/25/2009. He has been my focus and my every thought has been of or about him. What will I do?
There s a quote that has always been a favorite of mine, today it says what I feel about Michael Jackson’s abrupt departure from this earth:
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.”
Dear Michael, I will always love you more. When all is said and done, I will ALWAYS LOVE you MORE.
Friday, July 29, 2011
July-29-2011
Revelations
3:8
'When God leads you to the edge of the
cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2
things will happen, either He'll catch you when
you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly! '
In one month, we will be reflecting again. It would have been Michael Jackson’s 53rd birthday, a very young 53. We will reflect on his life and in wonderment, imagine what he would be doing on that day. We will be sad and happy and singing and rejoicing and praying and dreaming about all of what could have been, should have been, would have been. That’s just human nature when you love someone and you lose them. A never celebrated birthday always brings up the memories and the what ifs. Just as the date of death does. They always give us cause to stop and reflect.
I don’t know what I will be doing on that day. There is no way to prepare for it. But I plan to trust that God will guide me. I hope I will find a way to get through the day without sadness because Michael’s birth ushered in a new era, an era of love for the planet, the universe and each other. Michael taught us by example that it is not enough to have unless we give back, and give back in abundance. Michael showed us that we were all the same and love sees no differences. Michael showed us how to walk in humility and do it gracefully. Michael made us believe in dreams and in the magic of Peter Pan. Michael made us each feel special by simply saying I love you more. Because we knew, by feeling it in our hearts and throughout our bodies and souls, that he really did. He loved you. He loved me. In that one perfect body lived enough love to share with every living thing in the whole world. Ad we were all a part of it. We witnessed it. Many words will be written about it in history. But to live it… God is good.
Yes, God led Michael to the edge of the cliff. Michael trusted Him and in faith, he let go. He knew he wouldn’t fall. He never did in his life. I believe that God has been teaching Michael how to fly all the days of his life. He took that final leap of faith and now… he soars.
So now when I think of Michael’s birthday and from this day forward, I will think of it as the day that God sent us an angel. All his 50 years were gifts to us. But his forever was never ours to keep. I am thankful, I am humbled to have been blessed to have lived in Michael’s era and experienced his kind of love. It is everlasting. God bless the child. And Michael, I will always love you more.
3:8
'When God leads you to the edge of the
cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2
things will happen, either He'll catch you when
you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly! '
In one month, we will be reflecting again. It would have been Michael Jackson’s 53rd birthday, a very young 53. We will reflect on his life and in wonderment, imagine what he would be doing on that day. We will be sad and happy and singing and rejoicing and praying and dreaming about all of what could have been, should have been, would have been. That’s just human nature when you love someone and you lose them. A never celebrated birthday always brings up the memories and the what ifs. Just as the date of death does. They always give us cause to stop and reflect.
I don’t know what I will be doing on that day. There is no way to prepare for it. But I plan to trust that God will guide me. I hope I will find a way to get through the day without sadness because Michael’s birth ushered in a new era, an era of love for the planet, the universe and each other. Michael taught us by example that it is not enough to have unless we give back, and give back in abundance. Michael showed us that we were all the same and love sees no differences. Michael showed us how to walk in humility and do it gracefully. Michael made us believe in dreams and in the magic of Peter Pan. Michael made us each feel special by simply saying I love you more. Because we knew, by feeling it in our hearts and throughout our bodies and souls, that he really did. He loved you. He loved me. In that one perfect body lived enough love to share with every living thing in the whole world. Ad we were all a part of it. We witnessed it. Many words will be written about it in history. But to live it… God is good.
Yes, God led Michael to the edge of the cliff. Michael trusted Him and in faith, he let go. He knew he wouldn’t fall. He never did in his life. I believe that God has been teaching Michael how to fly all the days of his life. He took that final leap of faith and now… he soars.
So now when I think of Michael’s birthday and from this day forward, I will think of it as the day that God sent us an angel. All his 50 years were gifts to us. But his forever was never ours to keep. I am thankful, I am humbled to have been blessed to have lived in Michael’s era and experienced his kind of love. It is everlasting. God bless the child. And Michael, I will always love you more.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Truth runs marathons… so I’ve got to say it
Since Michael’s death, I have been going over something in my mind that has been puzzling me. Why is it that every effort we set out to accomplish for Michael only half succeeds? I look at the Tribute Portrait that has only 300,000 signatures or dots assigned. They should long ago have had 1,000,000. No question. I look the the Official Michael Jackson Fan page and there is always bickering. I visit the death hoax pages and they are bickering. I see twitter, facebook, Justice pages and everyone is at odds. Then I suddenly realize what the problem is, Michael Jackson’s fans are unequivocally divided. First the believers that feel Michael still lives are pitted against the non-believers who says he certainly is dead and that the non-believers are delusional and not real fans. Then there are the conspiracy therorists who feel that more than one person was involved in Michael’s death. They believe he died but by circumstances different from what we have been led to believe. So to oppose them are the ones who are solely Conrad Murray did it fans. They see the Conspiracy theroist as ruining the chance for anyone to be convicted of Michael’s death. When in all sincerity, I see that as a real possibility anyway the way things are going.
What is NOT happening is that the FANS of Michael Jackson are working together for one goal. Everyone is so set on their own agendas that they are not willing to put that aside and work for what we are really all here for, Michael Jackson. The truth is we will never get 100% of anything until we are. It is time to forget about our different beliefs and concentrate on the bigger picture. Let people have their own theories. That’s their right. But do not allow that to get in the way when we are working on the vision. The moderators of all of these different boards can make the difference if they would make it a rule that NO ONE is ridiculed or shunned or bullied because they see a different outcome, a different truth. No one should be allowed to be verbally abused and that should be the general rule. If you don’t like a particular thread, oblige onesself to skip it. It’s all about Michael Jackson and regardlessof our theories or beliefs or “gut feelings”, everyone loves him. If we intend to accomplish any goal in unision, then we MUST stop thinking that our truth is the only one. We have got to STOP ostracizing others and come together for the good of the legacy. Until we do, every effort that’s put out there is going to fail or half succeed. And that’s not good enough. Michael Jackson deserves our very best efforts. He deserves our undivided attention. He deserves for us to work together, all for love, like he did for us even with all that was stacked agaist him. He did it and never looked back and never turned the other way. He DESERVES for us to stand as one for him. He never divided his love for us. We must give back as much or more, if even that is possible. We must. Can we do it? I believe we can and we will.
It’s not about you or me. It’s about Michael Jackson and he deserves the best that we can offer. So far, I don’t see he’s ever gotten that. But if anyone in this world ever deserved 100% it is Michael. If we, the fans whom he loved and gave his entire life to, continue the division and never come together, he never will get it. And that will be a greater crime.
Michael I love you more.
What is NOT happening is that the FANS of Michael Jackson are working together for one goal. Everyone is so set on their own agendas that they are not willing to put that aside and work for what we are really all here for, Michael Jackson. The truth is we will never get 100% of anything until we are. It is time to forget about our different beliefs and concentrate on the bigger picture. Let people have their own theories. That’s their right. But do not allow that to get in the way when we are working on the vision. The moderators of all of these different boards can make the difference if they would make it a rule that NO ONE is ridiculed or shunned or bullied because they see a different outcome, a different truth. No one should be allowed to be verbally abused and that should be the general rule. If you don’t like a particular thread, oblige onesself to skip it. It’s all about Michael Jackson and regardlessof our theories or beliefs or “gut feelings”, everyone loves him. If we intend to accomplish any goal in unision, then we MUST stop thinking that our truth is the only one. We have got to STOP ostracizing others and come together for the good of the legacy. Until we do, every effort that’s put out there is going to fail or half succeed. And that’s not good enough. Michael Jackson deserves our very best efforts. He deserves our undivided attention. He deserves for us to work together, all for love, like he did for us even with all that was stacked agaist him. He did it and never looked back and never turned the other way. He DESERVES for us to stand as one for him. He never divided his love for us. We must give back as much or more, if even that is possible. We must. Can we do it? I believe we can and we will.
It’s not about you or me. It’s about Michael Jackson and he deserves the best that we can offer. So far, I don’t see he’s ever gotten that. But if anyone in this world ever deserved 100% it is Michael. If we, the fans whom he loved and gave his entire life to, continue the division and never come together, he never will get it. And that will be a greater crime.
Michael I love you more.
25 months of pain and joy
I cannot believe that it has been 2 years and 1 month tomorrow without Michael Jackson. It is hard for me to believe that I made it. I never thought I could. My heart and my spirit were so broken when Michael died that it took a real effort to remember to breathe. At times I found myself breathless and gasping for air. As if my lungs were closed and could not accept the air they needed to function. Sleep escaped me. I went days and days without being able to close my eyes and rest. I had no appetite for food, only for information and pictures and words and song, anything… everything that put Michael back where he belonged, in this world with me. It worked, for a time, and then the more that I learned about his death and all the intricate details surrounding it, even those things became mundane and it became my passion to try to piece the puzzle together that was just beginning to form. And it was huge. Larger than life and more sinister than I would have ever imagined. It was the most horrible news I had ever gotten, that Michael Jackson had died. But it became multiplied exponitiously when I learned that he didn’t just die, but was taken from us. That made my grief, my pain, my emotional despair all the more complex. I was angry. I was hurt. I was a total, complete mess of a human being. As I said, I never thought I would be here today, especially totally calm and enjoying the many, many gifts left behind by this man I’ve come to call simply Angel. But I am. I am totally at peace in knowing that after 25 months, the world is more Michaelish. Things are happening that never would have happened, major things, had it not been for Michael’s death. And because I believe in God and His promise, one being that a child will lead them, I believe that Michael was taken back, albeit abruptly, because he had done what God had planned for him to do. He is embedded in our hearts forever. And if he is there, so is his vision. We know what Michael’s vision was as well or even better than we know our own. And we see it coming into fruition and even exploding across the planet where it is needed most. So joyously I say, there is a lot of Michael in the world. Though he be not here in the physical form, he is forever here in the hearts of those who loved him or who have gotten to love him since his passing.
Be ever wonderful my Angel of calm and peace. In 25 short months, Michael Jackson has impacted the world more than any other human being dead or living with his message of love for all of God’s creations. That could only have been attained by one from a higher source, and I believe in my heart, that Michael Jackson is that child of whom’s coming we had been foretold.
Life is fleeting, but love lives forever. Michael is love. He will never, ever die.
The very thought of him or the mention of his name, gives me unyielding joy and always, but always renders me forever speechless. I will always love him more.
Cassie for Maxwell
7/24/2011
Be ever wonderful my Angel of calm and peace. In 25 short months, Michael Jackson has impacted the world more than any other human being dead or living with his message of love for all of God’s creations. That could only have been attained by one from a higher source, and I believe in my heart, that Michael Jackson is that child of whom’s coming we had been foretold.
Life is fleeting, but love lives forever. Michael is love. He will never, ever die.
The very thought of him or the mention of his name, gives me unyielding joy and always, but always renders me forever speechless. I will always love him more.
Cassie for Maxwell
7/24/2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Response to MuzikFactoryTwo Blog
I have so very often thought about the things of which you speak. It is going to be very difficult being a Michael Jackson offspring in this society where everyone will be out there to exploit them, and will lay in wake for any occasion to degredate their integrity, simply because of their parentage. I have often times spoken publicly about their safety first and all else that stands to follow in abundance due to them simply being who they are. Of course I got slammed as expected. But the truth is the truth and as Michael said it runs marathons around anything else. I agree with you 100% that these children should be better protected. They are too visible and are not being raised according to Michael’s standards of care. If not Debbie Rowe, somebody needs to step in and raise these children in a responsible manner. Rhinocerris skin comes from years and years of being outcast with all odds against, and being forced to cope with those circumstances alone because no one stood by you through it all. Those children might think that they are prepared for any and everything, but in truth, they don’t know what they are potentially up against and it will get worse long before it gets better. They, unfortunately, are not like other children no matter how hard they try to be. They are heirs to a fortune and there will ALWAYS be danger attached to that. There will always be a negative mark attached to them as long as there is tabloid media and those people who will always hate Michael Jackson. The children MUST be protected and shielded from the evil that prevails because it’s not going anywhere.
I wish the very best for Paris, Prince and Blanket. I really wish they could just grow up normally and be like other children. But they cannot. They are special, like it or not, and it is IMPERATIVE that they be protected as the royalty that they are. Their lives depend on it.
I often have thought of them in the same vein as the Kennedy children. Camelot is a beautiful, priviledged existence; but it is also an extremly hard place to find onesself inherrent in. The Kennedy’s had everything one could dream of, but the children, and especially the name sakes, lost themselves in the process to. I so do not want to see Michael’s children grow up to be lost in the world. I do not want to see their names in the tabloids for any reason but certainly not for an negativity. They are at an impressionable age where they are coming into their own personalities and it is at this time that they need more guidance and direction, not less. They cannot be turned loose to run worry and carefree. There are real, dangers in being who they are. The things they are being allowed to do in my opinion is MADNESS. Sound decisions MUST be made by someone with ONLY their best interests at heart. Tough love is a definite must.
My friend, I wholeheartedly agree that at this point, something has to change. I don’t like what I see and the complications that are possible if they continue in the direction they are taking. Wrong road that could lead them head on into hardship, harm and total disaster.
Please protect Michael’s children. If we did not get to help Michael before we lost him, we can at least do the next best thing in advocating for love and protection of the one thing that he would have unquestionably given his life for, his children.
I wish the very best for Paris, Prince and Blanket. I really wish they could just grow up normally and be like other children. But they cannot. They are special, like it or not, and it is IMPERATIVE that they be protected as the royalty that they are. Their lives depend on it.
I often have thought of them in the same vein as the Kennedy children. Camelot is a beautiful, priviledged existence; but it is also an extremly hard place to find onesself inherrent in. The Kennedy’s had everything one could dream of, but the children, and especially the name sakes, lost themselves in the process to. I so do not want to see Michael’s children grow up to be lost in the world. I do not want to see their names in the tabloids for any reason but certainly not for an negativity. They are at an impressionable age where they are coming into their own personalities and it is at this time that they need more guidance and direction, not less. They cannot be turned loose to run worry and carefree. There are real, dangers in being who they are. The things they are being allowed to do in my opinion is MADNESS. Sound decisions MUST be made by someone with ONLY their best interests at heart. Tough love is a definite must.
My friend, I wholeheartedly agree that at this point, something has to change. I don’t like what I see and the complications that are possible if they continue in the direction they are taking. Wrong road that could lead them head on into hardship, harm and total disaster.
Please protect Michael’s children. If we did not get to help Michael before we lost him, we can at least do the next best thing in advocating for love and protection of the one thing that he would have unquestionably given his life for, his children.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
The day that changed my life forever...
is here again. The reason for me deciding to delve into the cyber world because I had to find an outlet to release all the pain from learning of the senseless utimely death; all the frustration from not being told the truth and hearing all the media lies and heartless rumors; and all the love that has been growing inside me for over 45 years and is never ending, for this man, Michael Jackson. Now comes the day that I wish I could magically wave a wand and erase from history forever. But I can’t, and thus, I am here again to say Michael, I love you and I always will.
Life will never be the same. Michael Jackson left us unnaturally, ans that truth keeps me in a state of forever sadness. He had so much more to give.
Last night I went to bed knowing that today would be a day of the saddest of my memories; memories that will be with me for the rest of my days, for as long as I breathe on this earth. I hope that Michael’s children, his mother, his father, and all of his brothers, sisters, family has found their own ways to have some semblance of peace within themselves allowing them to freely and with reverence honor the wonderful man that their father, son, brother, relation was to everyone and every living thing on this planet. I hope they can find some way of pushing from their minds the many cruelties done to their beloved Michael on this day, and simply pause to give him and his memory all of their energy and love. Nothing else matters today. Nothing. God bless Michael’s family. Take care of them.
My day will be filled with tears, tears that have become my constant companion and friend. It will be filled with Michael’s voice and his image. It will be filled with memories; the good ones and the bad. But it will be more than anything else, filled with love for the one human being that I believe with all my being, was the Angel that God sent to us with messages of love and forgiveness for our generation, who became the sacrificial lamb to save the world. Michael Jackson was a lamb of God. And he took him back just like he did thousands of years ago. When will the world ever be ready to receive what God freely gives us? I don’t know the answer. I only know that until we do, there will be more angels come down to save us and only when it is too late will we recognize them, just like Jesus and just like Michael Jackson.
I love you and I miss the presence of Michael Jackson in my life. Never in my lifetime and not for many lifetimes to come will there ever be another Michael. He was not one in a million. He was a million in one.
52 years ago, an angel came to bring us the promise of greater things to come. Two years ago, that angel was taken back because the world did not recognize who he was. When Michael died, the angels cried, and their tears now fall from our weeping eyes.
Michael Jackson, I will always love you most.
Life will never be the same. Michael Jackson left us unnaturally, ans that truth keeps me in a state of forever sadness. He had so much more to give.
Last night I went to bed knowing that today would be a day of the saddest of my memories; memories that will be with me for the rest of my days, for as long as I breathe on this earth. I hope that Michael’s children, his mother, his father, and all of his brothers, sisters, family has found their own ways to have some semblance of peace within themselves allowing them to freely and with reverence honor the wonderful man that their father, son, brother, relation was to everyone and every living thing on this planet. I hope they can find some way of pushing from their minds the many cruelties done to their beloved Michael on this day, and simply pause to give him and his memory all of their energy and love. Nothing else matters today. Nothing. God bless Michael’s family. Take care of them.
My day will be filled with tears, tears that have become my constant companion and friend. It will be filled with Michael’s voice and his image. It will be filled with memories; the good ones and the bad. But it will be more than anything else, filled with love for the one human being that I believe with all my being, was the Angel that God sent to us with messages of love and forgiveness for our generation, who became the sacrificial lamb to save the world. Michael Jackson was a lamb of God. And he took him back just like he did thousands of years ago. When will the world ever be ready to receive what God freely gives us? I don’t know the answer. I only know that until we do, there will be more angels come down to save us and only when it is too late will we recognize them, just like Jesus and just like Michael Jackson.
I love you and I miss the presence of Michael Jackson in my life. Never in my lifetime and not for many lifetimes to come will there ever be another Michael. He was not one in a million. He was a million in one.
52 years ago, an angel came to bring us the promise of greater things to come. Two years ago, that angel was taken back because the world did not recognize who he was. When Michael died, the angels cried, and their tears now fall from our weeping eyes.
Michael Jackson, I will always love you most.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
My Poem for Paris Jackson created June 20, 2010 - For Father’s Day
Especially for Paris on Father's Day
Joined: Aug 2009
United States
Sunday, June 20, 2010 - 11:36
CassieForMaxwell:
A child is missing a father today
a father is missing a son
a wife is missing the love of her life
a mother's tears, once again has begun
The world is missing an angel
who was here, but for only a while
a magical being of song and dance
compassion, and love, and style
the most giving heart
the most beautiful smile
From all of us who loved him
on this year's Father's day
We pause just to remember you
each in our chosen way
I choose to go to church today
to send a special prayer
that mothers, fathers, children
on the planet everywhere
will never take for granted
a caring father's love
and celebrate him everyday
and pray to the heavens above
Believe….
that though he might be gone away
his love will still always sustain
for in your heart he'll be with you
to comfort and ease your pain
So here's to Michael's baby girl
of which she will always be
Paris, this is my special song
that I pass to you from me
Always know throughout your life
where ever you are in this world
that daddy saved all his butterfly kisses
for his precious, baby girl
United States
Sunday, June 20, 2010 - 11:36
CassieForMaxwell:
A child is missing a father today
a father is missing a son
a wife is missing the love of her life
a mother's tears, once again has begun
The world is missing an angel
who was here, but for only a while
a magical being of song and dance
compassion, and love, and style
the most giving heart
the most beautiful smile
From all of us who loved him
on this year's Father's day
We pause just to remember you
each in our chosen way
I choose to go to church today
to send a special prayer
that mothers, fathers, children
on the planet everywhere
will never take for granted
a caring father's love
and celebrate him everyday
and pray to the heavens above
Believe….
that though he might be gone away
his love will still always sustain
for in your heart he'll be with you
to comfort and ease your pain
So here's to Michael's baby girl
of which she will always be
Paris, this is my special song
that I pass to you from me
Always know throughout your life
where ever you are in this world
that daddy saved all his butterfly kisses
for his precious, baby girl
For those of us who love Anime' Butter Fly Kisses.
I dedicate this video to Paris Jackson,
and all the daddy's baby girls in the world.
Happy Fathers day, daddy
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x303b0_amv-butterfly-kisses_music
Monday, May 30, 2011
my thoughts for this day
Sometimes I wonder if Michael wasn’t tired of people always expecting the unrealistic of him. He was 50 years old, not old by any stretch of the imagination. A man of his physical agility and conditioning for most of his life through dance and being on stage giving 1000% every time, was of course in better shape than most men half his age. But Michael Jackson was human and he had limitations. He suffered from lupus for God’s sake. He had some fractures and some wear and tear to that otherwise well tuned body. Conditions directly related to being the hardest working entertainer in the world as well as some other ills that he the was unfortunately dealt in this game called life. Not of his doing, and not by his own will. Did people think that he was some kind of machine you just wound upcomehell or high water and he’d perform for them? Hadn’t he paid more than his dues already by leaps and bounds? What more can I give he asked? All of you came the reply. All of you. And so he did.
Michael Jackson had worked more years than most laborers who usually work 30 years and then retire. He had worked 45. Didn’t he deserve to retire as much as any other human being? What made them think that he still owed society 7 more years of his life? One more to be honest? He had paid his dues to society. He had done his part.
Perhaps those people could argue that they didn’t know that lupus is an auto immune illness and it affects a person’s ability to stress, stress free. Stress takes a toll on the body and leaves it weakened and subsceptible to other ilnesses. Add an auto immune illness to that and you are flirting with disaster. Michael Jackson didn’t have the common cold. He had a debilitating, life threatening illness. And it appears to me that no one cared enough about that to just leave him be.
Sure people have said to me that Michael looked healthy enough in This Is It. At some level I would agree. He certainly could still move and wow the audience. And I am sure for maybe 10 concerts, he would have gotten through just fine. But the idea that a person with his illnesses would be forced into a corner and made to believe that his very livelihood depended upon doing just what we saw in TII 50 times over, is, in a word, assinine. No one has, can or will ever convince me that Michael Jackson was looking forward with giddy anticipation to being contracted to 50 Michael Jackson performances. Because we know that a Michael Jackson performance is what it is, and that equates to nothing less than perfection. Michael would never settle for anything less. But his body would not be able to have handled that. Anyone want to try to prove to me that the powers that be didn’t know that? Anybody?
As I look back, as I have been doing for the last 23 months, I don’t see anyone having had Michael Jackson’s, the human, best interest at heart. No one. And the cost for that no where equal to the loss sustained from his work ethic to try to do the impossible. I still feel that there is more to the story that is yet to be told. Maybe it will be. Likely it won’t. Money talks.
I miss Michael Jackson as if he were an old, dear, beloved friend . I hurt for his children who try not to wear their hearts on their sleeves, and his mother who can disguise her pain for only a while, but sometimes has to let it show.
I wish Michael Jackson knew that he didn’t owe anyone anything anymore. I wish he knew that all things work themselves out in time no matter what. And I wish he had had someone real in his life to look out for him when things looked a bit shady. Not a handler. Not a manager, lawyer, a watcher, but a real down to earth friend.
God, Jehovah, Allah or by what ever name you call Him, knows what happened on June 25, 2009 and I know He is on the job. The guilty parties know who they are and if they have any heart at all, must have a hard time sleeping at night, or waking up in the morning. … if they have any heart.
Michael Jackson had worked more years than most laborers who usually work 30 years and then retire. He had worked 45. Didn’t he deserve to retire as much as any other human being? What made them think that he still owed society 7 more years of his life? One more to be honest? He had paid his dues to society. He had done his part.
Perhaps those people could argue that they didn’t know that lupus is an auto immune illness and it affects a person’s ability to stress, stress free. Stress takes a toll on the body and leaves it weakened and subsceptible to other ilnesses. Add an auto immune illness to that and you are flirting with disaster. Michael Jackson didn’t have the common cold. He had a debilitating, life threatening illness. And it appears to me that no one cared enough about that to just leave him be.
Sure people have said to me that Michael looked healthy enough in This Is It. At some level I would agree. He certainly could still move and wow the audience. And I am sure for maybe 10 concerts, he would have gotten through just fine. But the idea that a person with his illnesses would be forced into a corner and made to believe that his very livelihood depended upon doing just what we saw in TII 50 times over, is, in a word, assinine. No one has, can or will ever convince me that Michael Jackson was looking forward with giddy anticipation to being contracted to 50 Michael Jackson performances. Because we know that a Michael Jackson performance is what it is, and that equates to nothing less than perfection. Michael would never settle for anything less. But his body would not be able to have handled that. Anyone want to try to prove to me that the powers that be didn’t know that? Anybody?
As I look back, as I have been doing for the last 23 months, I don’t see anyone having had Michael Jackson’s, the human, best interest at heart. No one. And the cost for that no where equal to the loss sustained from his work ethic to try to do the impossible. I still feel that there is more to the story that is yet to be told. Maybe it will be. Likely it won’t. Money talks.
I miss Michael Jackson as if he were an old, dear, beloved friend . I hurt for his children who try not to wear their hearts on their sleeves, and his mother who can disguise her pain for only a while, but sometimes has to let it show.
I wish Michael Jackson knew that he didn’t owe anyone anything anymore. I wish he knew that all things work themselves out in time no matter what. And I wish he had had someone real in his life to look out for him when things looked a bit shady. Not a handler. Not a manager, lawyer, a watcher, but a real down to earth friend.
God, Jehovah, Allah or by what ever name you call Him, knows what happened on June 25, 2009 and I know He is on the job. The guilty parties know who they are and if they have any heart at all, must have a hard time sleeping at night, or waking up in the morning. … if they have any heart.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Still broken hearted
I am sitting here in my little place in my home where I watch and listen to and have dedicated to my Michael Jackson. This is his place. Nothing else can invade it.
I’ve just finished watching, again, Bad in Japan, 1987. Preparing to watch, yet again, Michael Jackson Commemorated days leading to his 45th birthday. But in between these 2 very special treasured memories, I have once again opened the pages to Michael’s things, Neverland Lost, and I am in tears. It’s very hard for me to look at these beautiful personal belongings of our Michael. They have been boxed up and pushed away as it feels sometimes Michael was. Just seeing them, especially the items with his makeup still around the collars, the shoes with the missing gormet bearing his name on the sole, the things that made up his life. The telling things like the many little statues and trinkets and artifacts that spoke louder than any words ever could, of his lonliness and his aching desire to recreate the childhood he never had. To see them, in all their glory, yet in all their simplicity, makes me once again go there. Where you ask… back to the time when Michael Jackson was happy. Back to the joy inside his tears. Back to his Neverland where he at least was surrounded by the things that gave him comfort and a sense of belonging. When he lost that… he lost a greater piece of himself. I truly feel as much.
I ask myself why, why couldn’t they let him have the one thing in his life that gave him peace? His home. The home built from the imagination of a child in an adult world. The home were he felt safe and surrounded by familiar things. The place that gave him back a piece of the childhood that passed him by. Was that too much to ask? Michael never asked anything of the world except his privacy. No matter how much he sacrificed for others, to give us and everyone around him joy and magic and a piece of heaven on earth, he never required we give him anything in return. Never asked for recognition. Never asked anything more than we see him as a human being, a good man. And that he was. None before and none after will ever measure up no matter how hard one might try. It’s just not in the stars. Michael held the universe in his gently, worn hands and he handled it with care.
I don’t know why God allowed Michael to suffer so much. There are some things that only God holds the answers to. I guess this is one of them. 50 years is such a short life for one so full of life and love for every living, breathing thing. For one who had such vibrance and fire, 50 years is not long at all. He surely had 50 more had the tables not turned against him. But I guess one might say, that’s all water under the bridge now. I know however, that the water is surely troubled at his crossing over so soon.
I am still broken hearted and I seem to get more and more saddened as the days fall away towards 2 years. I don’t know that I will ever return to the person I was pre 6/25/09. I only know that it’s coming and nothing can turn back the hands of time. So I will play the songs, read the books, watch the performances, and shed the tears in my Michael room possibly for the rest of my life. Will it ever get easier? Maybe. Will it ever not give me cause to reflect? Never. Will I treasure these things for the rest of my life? Definitely.
Michael Jackson, I will never let your memory part, for you’re always on my mind and forever in my heart. You are so beautiful to me...
I’ve just finished watching, again, Bad in Japan, 1987. Preparing to watch, yet again, Michael Jackson Commemorated days leading to his 45th birthday. But in between these 2 very special treasured memories, I have once again opened the pages to Michael’s things, Neverland Lost, and I am in tears. It’s very hard for me to look at these beautiful personal belongings of our Michael. They have been boxed up and pushed away as it feels sometimes Michael was. Just seeing them, especially the items with his makeup still around the collars, the shoes with the missing gormet bearing his name on the sole, the things that made up his life. The telling things like the many little statues and trinkets and artifacts that spoke louder than any words ever could, of his lonliness and his aching desire to recreate the childhood he never had. To see them, in all their glory, yet in all their simplicity, makes me once again go there. Where you ask… back to the time when Michael Jackson was happy. Back to the joy inside his tears. Back to his Neverland where he at least was surrounded by the things that gave him comfort and a sense of belonging. When he lost that… he lost a greater piece of himself. I truly feel as much.
I ask myself why, why couldn’t they let him have the one thing in his life that gave him peace? His home. The home built from the imagination of a child in an adult world. The home were he felt safe and surrounded by familiar things. The place that gave him back a piece of the childhood that passed him by. Was that too much to ask? Michael never asked anything of the world except his privacy. No matter how much he sacrificed for others, to give us and everyone around him joy and magic and a piece of heaven on earth, he never required we give him anything in return. Never asked for recognition. Never asked anything more than we see him as a human being, a good man. And that he was. None before and none after will ever measure up no matter how hard one might try. It’s just not in the stars. Michael held the universe in his gently, worn hands and he handled it with care.
I don’t know why God allowed Michael to suffer so much. There are some things that only God holds the answers to. I guess this is one of them. 50 years is such a short life for one so full of life and love for every living, breathing thing. For one who had such vibrance and fire, 50 years is not long at all. He surely had 50 more had the tables not turned against him. But I guess one might say, that’s all water under the bridge now. I know however, that the water is surely troubled at his crossing over so soon.
I am still broken hearted and I seem to get more and more saddened as the days fall away towards 2 years. I don’t know that I will ever return to the person I was pre 6/25/09. I only know that it’s coming and nothing can turn back the hands of time. So I will play the songs, read the books, watch the performances, and shed the tears in my Michael room possibly for the rest of my life. Will it ever get easier? Maybe. Will it ever not give me cause to reflect? Never. Will I treasure these things for the rest of my life? Definitely.
Michael Jackson, I will never let your memory part, for you’re always on my mind and forever in my heart. You are so beautiful to me...
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Jermaine Jackson's book out this fall | new, york, book - Colorado Springs Gazette, CO
Jermaine Jackson's book out this fall | new, york, book - Colorado Springs Gazette, CO
This is the tell all book about Michael where Jermaine says some damaging things about Michael and his personal life. I certainly hope that this is just a rumor. I would hate to believe that now after Michael’s death that even his brother thinks trashing him is fair game. Is anything sacred in Michael’s life? For heaven’s sake, let Michael rest in peace and stop throwing stones at his character. Give peace and love a chance. It works.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Some people are just plain ign’ant
Well 4/29 was my birthday and I guess I was feeling somewhat “old hat”. The only real solace I found in that day was that it happens to be the same day of the month that Michael was born. That fact at least made me feel like we have at least a little somthing, something in common. Well anyway, long story short, I was at work sitting there staring at a picture on my desk of… you guessed it Michael. Yeah, he’s there. I find my self lost in that picture at work. Everyone in my office knows that he means the world to me, so usually they just leave me alone. HOWEVER, not this day.
“Girl, why are you sitting here staring at a dead man? And, my God, what do you see in him in the first place? He looks scary. WTH??@@#@##* I lost it. I mean… I really lost it. Now my superiors think that I am in need of some counseling. Not her… but me. It is so embarassing. What I need is for people to mind their own damn business. Leave me alone and not judge me for who or what I love. I LOVE MICHAEL. Period. I don’t feel that in itself is any reason for people to feel obliged to make off centered remarks about my emotional stability. It was the 29th. Michael’s birthday is on the 29th. I’m having another birthday. He never will. It’s depressing. I was simply meditating, minding my own b.i.z. Why am I being chastized when she is not? I am still upset as you can see.
My reason for posting, was I wrong? Do you think I’m being persnickity? I would rather hear it from people who I know love Michael and will be honest and fair. I just want them to leave me alone. Stop tippin. I wish I could pack up my gear and move to the moon away from all of them. I don’t need this. Leave me and Michael Jackson ALONE.
“Girl, why are you sitting here staring at a dead man? And, my God, what do you see in him in the first place? He looks scary. WTH??@@#@##* I lost it. I mean… I really lost it. Now my superiors think that I am in need of some counseling. Not her… but me. It is so embarassing. What I need is for people to mind their own damn business. Leave me alone and not judge me for who or what I love. I LOVE MICHAEL. Period. I don’t feel that in itself is any reason for people to feel obliged to make off centered remarks about my emotional stability. It was the 29th. Michael’s birthday is on the 29th. I’m having another birthday. He never will. It’s depressing. I was simply meditating, minding my own b.i.z. Why am I being chastized when she is not? I am still upset as you can see.
My reason for posting, was I wrong? Do you think I’m being persnickity? I would rather hear it from people who I know love Michael and will be honest and fair. I just want them to leave me alone. Stop tippin. I wish I could pack up my gear and move to the moon away from all of them. I don’t need this. Leave me and Michael Jackson ALONE.
Friday, April 29, 2011
I do believe that God is coming back...
and he is clearing a path by which to walk from one hemesphere to the next. He is tearing down the monuments man has built to honor himself. He is swathing out the follage that has been unkempt and neglected. He is moving the waters that have become tainted and stagnated and littered with refuse and waste. He is making a path across this planet that was left in our care that he now finds unfamiliar and unrecognizable. He is on His way back and He will not tolerate any stumbling blocks in His way. Recognize the signs. Know the promise. Heed the prophesy. It’s all there as clear as day and night.
If one is true to ones self, then we have no other option but to acknowledge that something beyond human experience is happening to this planet. The mountains are being moved. The waters are being parted. The heavens are opening up and spewing venom; doing its job, taking care to ensure that nothing stands in the way of the second coming. No one is special, nothing is sacred. If we are so vain as to believe that these things are “just happening” without a rhyme or reason, then we are wearing blinders. What is happening now is out of our hands. We have no power against it. Neither money, nor status, nor gold, nor silver; nothing is fair barter. God is sending His message, a powerful message. He seems to be saying that if we have not learned by our own merit to live together, love and help each other, then we will never what to live is all about. It is obvious to me that love is the only answer, that communion and compassion is all that is important in this life. Nothing else matters when everything you can build, with all that money can buy can be diminished to nothing, completely useless under the powers of the heavens and the earth in the twinkling of an eye.
Look around you, everywhere. Look at how we are forced to take care of our neighbor. Look at how swiftly the monuments that we’ve built from years of sweat and toil and greed and selfishness, all fall down. Things. Riches. They are all worthless, useless. People are trying to find ways to go underground, to go into space, to try to get away, to save themselves. But they can’t. There is nowhere to go. A penny, a billion dollars, none of it is worth a thing. Look around. There is a mode of natural disaster that can find you no matter whre you try to run. God is coming back. Soon. The signs of the times are upon us. They are already here. You can almost feel it. It’s in the air that we breathe.
I have never been one to talk doom and gloom. But when I see those things that have been foretold unfold right before my eyes in rapid succession, it is undeniable. It’s out of our hands.
I do not know what with any certainty what role Michael Jackson was sent here to fulfill. But I do believe he was sent, and that he did as best any human could have done, to spread joy and love to this planet. He tried to give us “the message”. He worked tirelessly and relentlessly even when it meant sacrificing himself to do so. He was a worthy messenger. Not a better choice of human could have been chosen. He did his job with grace and with dignity and with compassion. Perhaps somewhere an invisible pact was made with God and Michael that gave Michael x number of years to do all he could to bring as many people humanly possible together within the bounds of that time. Maybe Michael knew his hour. Maybe he knew his destiny. Sometimes when I looked into Michael’s eyes they seemed to be bottomless and infinite; and his facial expression, there was something in it that was so familiar and all emcompassing. A look of what more can I give, what more can I do; a look of hope combined with a look of despair; a look of today, yestrday and tomorrow. It shone in his eyes. It seemed he had an energy all around him, in every inch of his being, an energy that could project outward and touch a million people and pull each one of us close to his heart collectively yet individually. Arch Angel Michael. I still do believe.
I know that God is coming back, and I can sense it will be soon. I only hope that when he comes that he will find me at least somewhat worthy to even glance upon his face, and humbly enter into his kingdom. I don’t know the time, the hour. But I knowin my spirit that this is it. I also know without any doubt that our Michael is already there.
Be blessed. Love is our only salvation. Love. L.O.V.E.
If one is true to ones self, then we have no other option but to acknowledge that something beyond human experience is happening to this planet. The mountains are being moved. The waters are being parted. The heavens are opening up and spewing venom; doing its job, taking care to ensure that nothing stands in the way of the second coming. No one is special, nothing is sacred. If we are so vain as to believe that these things are “just happening” without a rhyme or reason, then we are wearing blinders. What is happening now is out of our hands. We have no power against it. Neither money, nor status, nor gold, nor silver; nothing is fair barter. God is sending His message, a powerful message. He seems to be saying that if we have not learned by our own merit to live together, love and help each other, then we will never what to live is all about. It is obvious to me that love is the only answer, that communion and compassion is all that is important in this life. Nothing else matters when everything you can build, with all that money can buy can be diminished to nothing, completely useless under the powers of the heavens and the earth in the twinkling of an eye.
Look around you, everywhere. Look at how we are forced to take care of our neighbor. Look at how swiftly the monuments that we’ve built from years of sweat and toil and greed and selfishness, all fall down. Things. Riches. They are all worthless, useless. People are trying to find ways to go underground, to go into space, to try to get away, to save themselves. But they can’t. There is nowhere to go. A penny, a billion dollars, none of it is worth a thing. Look around. There is a mode of natural disaster that can find you no matter whre you try to run. God is coming back. Soon. The signs of the times are upon us. They are already here. You can almost feel it. It’s in the air that we breathe.
I have never been one to talk doom and gloom. But when I see those things that have been foretold unfold right before my eyes in rapid succession, it is undeniable. It’s out of our hands.
I do not know what with any certainty what role Michael Jackson was sent here to fulfill. But I do believe he was sent, and that he did as best any human could have done, to spread joy and love to this planet. He tried to give us “the message”. He worked tirelessly and relentlessly even when it meant sacrificing himself to do so. He was a worthy messenger. Not a better choice of human could have been chosen. He did his job with grace and with dignity and with compassion. Perhaps somewhere an invisible pact was made with God and Michael that gave Michael x number of years to do all he could to bring as many people humanly possible together within the bounds of that time. Maybe Michael knew his hour. Maybe he knew his destiny. Sometimes when I looked into Michael’s eyes they seemed to be bottomless and infinite; and his facial expression, there was something in it that was so familiar and all emcompassing. A look of what more can I give, what more can I do; a look of hope combined with a look of despair; a look of today, yestrday and tomorrow. It shone in his eyes. It seemed he had an energy all around him, in every inch of his being, an energy that could project outward and touch a million people and pull each one of us close to his heart collectively yet individually. Arch Angel Michael. I still do believe.
I know that God is coming back, and I can sense it will be soon. I only hope that when he comes that he will find me at least somewhat worthy to even glance upon his face, and humbly enter into his kingdom. I don’t know the time, the hour. But I knowin my spirit that this is it. I also know without any doubt that our Michael is already there.
Be blessed. Love is our only salvation. Love. L.O.V.E.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Gravity - John Mayer (I love this song) It’s killing me softly...
Gravity is working against me
and gravity, wants to bring me down
oh, I’ll never know
what makes this man
with all the love that his heart can stand
dream of ways to throw it all away...
Oh, woe, gravity
is working against me
and gravity wants to bring me down
oh twice as much aint twice as good
and can’t sustain
like one half could
it’s wanting more
that’s gonna send me to my knees
oh…oh gravity
stay the hell away from me
oh, gravity…
has taken better men than me
but how can that be
just keep me where the light is
just keep me where the light is
just keep me where the light is
come on keep me where the light is
come on keep me where, keep me where
the light is..
Where the light is Michael.
I know you’ll always be there.
Happy Easter
God bless you.
and gravity, wants to bring me down
oh, I’ll never know
what makes this man
with all the love that his heart can stand
dream of ways to throw it all away...
Oh, woe, gravity
is working against me
and gravity wants to bring me down
oh twice as much aint twice as good
and can’t sustain
like one half could
it’s wanting more
that’s gonna send me to my knees
oh…oh gravity
stay the hell away from me
oh, gravity…
has taken better men than me
but how can that be
just keep me where the light is
just keep me where the light is
just keep me where the light is
come on keep me where the light is
come on keep me where, keep me where
the light is..
Where the light is Michael.
I know you’ll always be there.
Happy Easter
God bless you.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Dear God...
I come to you with a heavy heart on this day. My soul is searching. I ask you dear Father, what is the meaning, the lesson to be learned in losing Michael Jackson so soon? What is the message? To love each other as we love ourselves? To be kind? To be true to thine self? Did we really have to sacrifice Michael in order for those things to take shape? I do not fully understand and it has crippled me from the day he went away. If the message is to be true to thine self, then that I must do. In so doing, I must admit that I was living my life for the better part of the last 10 years doing me. I was in my own selfish world, listening to hip hop music, going to concerts, enjoying everything around me as if I were entitled to do so; and hardly ever did I think about what might have become the plight of Michael Jackson. I had all but put him on the back burner of my life and moved on with only an occasional glance back towards the one who had given me so much joy in my life. Only when I would hear his soft voice, a song would come on my radio, see his lovely smile and castch those smooth moves on a video, did I drift back into the old familiar. And no sooner than the melancholy wore off, as soon as it was over, I was gone back to my own selfish life, putting him away again. However, that old magic was returning when I heard he was going to perform again. I was high on the thought of it. Still, I selfishly thought, later. When he decides to come back to my hometown, then I’ll get excited. No need to rush. Little did I know. Too late the hero,
If to thine own self be true, I am being as truthful today as I can be. I realize that unconsciously and unequivocally I did turn away from him. Not intentionally, but I did. How doesn’t even matter now. That i did is what haunts me everyday of my life now. And it makes me wonder, if I could do that, probably so could have many others. Did we leave Michael when he needed us most? Did I? You don’t need to answer that question, Father, I can do it myself. Yes. I did and I am paying dearly for it with every breath I take, with every heartbeat, with every tear that constantly falls from my eyes. I promised that I would be there. I promised. My words exactly, that only you, Father, could keep me from it. Ad somehow, I turned away and allowed Michael to slip out of this life alone. And everyday since, I have suffered for it.
There is not a day that goes by, not a night, that I don’t find myself lost in thoughts of him, wondering how alone he must have felt. I wonder did he cry. I wonder was he in pain. I wonder did he feel destitute and alienated from all the people he sacrificed his very life for. I wonder what were his last thoughts, his last gathering of thoughts about the world and the people in it that he gave up everything for. I wonder.
I have learned one thing profoundly in the wake of Michael’s plight, to love those who are important to me everyday as much or more than the day before. I have learned to see the beauty in the mundane. I have learned that precious moments are really precious moments and that they should not be taken for granted or wasted on frivolities. Things pass, moods change, life goes on until, but when it is over it’s too late to go back and change things. It’s to late to say, I wish I had loved you more. To late to make amends. You never have to say you’re sorry, you never have to wish to have known when you are in tune with those around you. You never have to say I didn’t know. If you are there emotionally and unconditionally, you just do. I failed the test.
To Michael I say, I am sorry. I wish I had never let go of your hand so that I could have felt the push and pull of your heart. I lost you. You’re gone forever. I’ll never have the chance to see that smile again that I remember so well though it greets me every time I close my eyes.
You had so much of so many things, but not enough of what matters most, love returned, love shared, love, love, love. You went away and I am forever speechless. I cannot believe that 50 short years would be all the time allotted you for your magic to permeate the world, the planet, the universe. Your love is magical, that’s how I feel. It should have… you should have lived long beyond those 50 years. You were positive vibrational energy. You were the light of the world. Void of you, nothing else seems to matter anymore.
I pray that one day, Michael will forgive us. Who am I fooling, he already did. He knew that we were weak, imperfect human beings. He was an Angel. He knew and he forgave. Blessed is the pure at heart. Just help me to forgive myself. That’s the hard part. You were ours. You were never selfish. You proved that countless times. You never let us part. You never turned away. I can hear the words of your song playing clearly in my head, in my heart “don’t walk away”. The song I can barely stand to listen to without your earthly presence.
So dear Michael, dear God, thank you for allowing me to keep him alive, if only in my heart. I will never forget you, I will never forget love, ever again.
Thank you for the memories. thank you for the love. Thank you for always, always, always loving us more.
Because of you, I am changed forever.
Amen
God bless you
If to thine own self be true, I am being as truthful today as I can be. I realize that unconsciously and unequivocally I did turn away from him. Not intentionally, but I did. How doesn’t even matter now. That i did is what haunts me everyday of my life now. And it makes me wonder, if I could do that, probably so could have many others. Did we leave Michael when he needed us most? Did I? You don’t need to answer that question, Father, I can do it myself. Yes. I did and I am paying dearly for it with every breath I take, with every heartbeat, with every tear that constantly falls from my eyes. I promised that I would be there. I promised. My words exactly, that only you, Father, could keep me from it. Ad somehow, I turned away and allowed Michael to slip out of this life alone. And everyday since, I have suffered for it.
There is not a day that goes by, not a night, that I don’t find myself lost in thoughts of him, wondering how alone he must have felt. I wonder did he cry. I wonder was he in pain. I wonder did he feel destitute and alienated from all the people he sacrificed his very life for. I wonder what were his last thoughts, his last gathering of thoughts about the world and the people in it that he gave up everything for. I wonder.
I have learned one thing profoundly in the wake of Michael’s plight, to love those who are important to me everyday as much or more than the day before. I have learned to see the beauty in the mundane. I have learned that precious moments are really precious moments and that they should not be taken for granted or wasted on frivolities. Things pass, moods change, life goes on until, but when it is over it’s too late to go back and change things. It’s to late to say, I wish I had loved you more. To late to make amends. You never have to say you’re sorry, you never have to wish to have known when you are in tune with those around you. You never have to say I didn’t know. If you are there emotionally and unconditionally, you just do. I failed the test.
To Michael I say, I am sorry. I wish I had never let go of your hand so that I could have felt the push and pull of your heart. I lost you. You’re gone forever. I’ll never have the chance to see that smile again that I remember so well though it greets me every time I close my eyes.
You had so much of so many things, but not enough of what matters most, love returned, love shared, love, love, love. You went away and I am forever speechless. I cannot believe that 50 short years would be all the time allotted you for your magic to permeate the world, the planet, the universe. Your love is magical, that’s how I feel. It should have… you should have lived long beyond those 50 years. You were positive vibrational energy. You were the light of the world. Void of you, nothing else seems to matter anymore.
I pray that one day, Michael will forgive us. Who am I fooling, he already did. He knew that we were weak, imperfect human beings. He was an Angel. He knew and he forgave. Blessed is the pure at heart. Just help me to forgive myself. That’s the hard part. You were ours. You were never selfish. You proved that countless times. You never let us part. You never turned away. I can hear the words of your song playing clearly in my head, in my heart “don’t walk away”. The song I can barely stand to listen to without your earthly presence.
So dear Michael, dear God, thank you for allowing me to keep him alive, if only in my heart. I will never forget you, I will never forget love, ever again.
Thank you for the memories. thank you for the love. Thank you for always, always, always loving us more.
Because of you, I am changed forever.
Amen
God bless you
Monday, April 11, 2011
There is no greater Love...
than the love given to us by Jesus Christ and Michael Jackson.
They both toiled through unimaginable torture simply because they loved us and wanted more than anything for us to love each other and the planet. That was their ONLY request and it became their greatest and only crime; love, l.o.v.e. What manner of human being hates one so for no reason? What manner of person considers the premise of love the ultimate, unforgivable crime? How does one become “that” person? What has happened in his or her life to allow him to view one who is non-violent, and unselfish as something to loathe and persecute at will?
I leadeth thee besides the still waters… the place where both Jesus and Michael wanted us all to be, peacefully. Yes, I place Michael Jackson in the same category that I place Jesus Christ. They were both born of woman. They were both magical and amusing. They could hold us in warm captivity with a single glance, or cause us to experience euphoria with the twist of a hand. They gave themselves away that we might have hope. They never stopped saying “I love you” and showing it with every strength in their beings. And they never raised a hand against those who betrayed, persecuted and prosecuted them. Two angels on earth, who walked with us, talked with us, lived for us, died trying to protect us and show us a better way, the righteous way. They were both Angels of God. Michael Jackson was our generation’s Messiah, our messenger sent with a purpose… the same purpose that placed Jesus Christ on earth thousands of yeas ago. And still, our eyes are blinded by the light and we cannot see.
Too late the hero… or could it be still too soon? Forever is a long time. Maybe in another couple thousand years, God will give us one more chance. However, those of us who live today and many generations to come will never see him. We were given a gift and we didn’t appreciate it. Now that gift has been taken back. How soon we forget that sometimes tomorrow never comes.
Michael was the Angel in m lifetime. I take him with me where ever I go. I believe in God’s promise that a child will lead us. In my lifetime, Michael Jackson was that child. God bless him.
They both toiled through unimaginable torture simply because they loved us and wanted more than anything for us to love each other and the planet. That was their ONLY request and it became their greatest and only crime; love, l.o.v.e. What manner of human being hates one so for no reason? What manner of person considers the premise of love the ultimate, unforgivable crime? How does one become “that” person? What has happened in his or her life to allow him to view one who is non-violent, and unselfish as something to loathe and persecute at will?
I leadeth thee besides the still waters… the place where both Jesus and Michael wanted us all to be, peacefully. Yes, I place Michael Jackson in the same category that I place Jesus Christ. They were both born of woman. They were both magical and amusing. They could hold us in warm captivity with a single glance, or cause us to experience euphoria with the twist of a hand. They gave themselves away that we might have hope. They never stopped saying “I love you” and showing it with every strength in their beings. And they never raised a hand against those who betrayed, persecuted and prosecuted them. Two angels on earth, who walked with us, talked with us, lived for us, died trying to protect us and show us a better way, the righteous way. They were both Angels of God. Michael Jackson was our generation’s Messiah, our messenger sent with a purpose… the same purpose that placed Jesus Christ on earth thousands of yeas ago. And still, our eyes are blinded by the light and we cannot see.
Too late the hero… or could it be still too soon? Forever is a long time. Maybe in another couple thousand years, God will give us one more chance. However, those of us who live today and many generations to come will never see him. We were given a gift and we didn’t appreciate it. Now that gift has been taken back. How soon we forget that sometimes tomorrow never comes.
Michael was the Angel in m lifetime. I take him with me where ever I go. I believe in God’s promise that a child will lead us. In my lifetime, Michael Jackson was that child. God bless him.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
I still cannot feel it… is it because I still don’t believe it?
It has been almost 2 years now and I still don’t feel like Michael is really gone. I know in my head that he is no longer present with us; but something in my heart will not let go. What is wrong with me? I fall to sleep some nights and cannot rest. It’s as if something is tugging at me, nudging me. It won’t allow me peace. I get up and am immediately drawn to anything Michael (of which there is quite a lot to choose from). I have to see him, hear him; a picture, a song, a video, anything so long as it is Michael. Nothing else will calm me. Nothing else can calm me. It’s as though he’s saying to me, not yet. You cannot go to sleep without a little bit of me in your head as is always in your heart.
Sometimes it makes me sad and I cry myself to sleep with him being the last thing on my wakeful mind. So my dreams are filled with his eyes. Other times it makes me happy, and I dance and sing with him until near daybreak (Break of Dawn) until I am so exhausted I literally fall into his arms of blissful contentment.
I guess the only way to describe it is that Michael Jackson is so much a part of me, that at times, I feel he is still here. He never left me and he never will. I pray there will never be a day in my life when I can simply close my eyes and his are not there anymore. Should that ever happen I fear will be the death of me. I live through my every thought of him. I will die should my thoughts ever become devoid of him. I know it. I will. He is the light of my life. Thoughts of him allows my world to continue to go around. It seems he keeps me sane in times of complete insanity. He makes me strong, when people try with words to hurt me. I always think of what he endured and know that words are just that, and I smile knowing that I can take it because Michael did. He took so much more, who then am I to let it get me down? I think of him and I stand tall. It’s all for you Michael. It’s all for love.
So maybe I still cannot feel it because in my world, he never died. He simply went away to a place with noname where I can always see him when I need him. Be it every minute or just before I lay me down. He is always here, ever present, and his eyes are smiling. They are beautiful
Sometimes it makes me sad and I cry myself to sleep with him being the last thing on my wakeful mind. So my dreams are filled with his eyes. Other times it makes me happy, and I dance and sing with him until near daybreak (Break of Dawn) until I am so exhausted I literally fall into his arms of blissful contentment.
I guess the only way to describe it is that Michael Jackson is so much a part of me, that at times, I feel he is still here. He never left me and he never will. I pray there will never be a day in my life when I can simply close my eyes and his are not there anymore. Should that ever happen I fear will be the death of me. I live through my every thought of him. I will die should my thoughts ever become devoid of him. I know it. I will. He is the light of my life. Thoughts of him allows my world to continue to go around. It seems he keeps me sane in times of complete insanity. He makes me strong, when people try with words to hurt me. I always think of what he endured and know that words are just that, and I smile knowing that I can take it because Michael did. He took so much more, who then am I to let it get me down? I think of him and I stand tall. It’s all for you Michael. It’s all for love.
So maybe I still cannot feel it because in my world, he never died. He simply went away to a place with noname where I can always see him when I need him. Be it every minute or just before I lay me down. He is always here, ever present, and his eyes are smiling. They are beautiful
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Did Michael Jackson know something we didn’t know...
…and was he about to tell us, warn us, on a grand scale? He said at the end of This Is It “we’ve only got four years”. Certainly we could not correct all the wrongs we have done to the planet in four years. But we could begin to honor her by starting to use her wisely. Growing our own fruits and vegetables, cultivating the land, correcting poorly constructed infra structures, planting new oxyygen producing trees. Not only would these simpe things help to fix her but also help us to help ourselves and not depend so heavily on the accesses and commodities currently available and accessible to us. In doing so we would be forced by nature to form more humane bonds to our fellow man. We would become inter dependent on each other and become each other’s helpers. All of these things would fall into place. But why the urgency? Why 4 years? As I see it, Michael was a visionary. Michael was wise beyond his years. Michael was very well read. Michael knew what was happening in the world that the government had been conveniently keeping away from the commoners, us. I think that perhaps Michael was referring to the collapse of the financial market, the fall of the US and British currency, that would mean disaster on a grand scale beyond anything we could imagine. Why? Because it is already happening, little by little, but big enough for each and every one of us to see if we’d just open our eyes.
Did you know that there was a secret meeting held with all the world leaders as recently as last year, that included every embasy EXCEPT the United States whereby they discussed the probability of reliveing the American dollar of its prestigious title of world reserve currency? Did you know that there are now places in the United States and abroad who are refusing to honor the US dollar for goods and services? Did you know that China is no longer so willing to buy and trade with US currency? The same is happening all over the world and even here in parts of the United States. You didn’t know that, did you? But it is happening as we speak.
When Michael Jackson said we have 4 more years in 2009, it is my thoughts that he was referring to 4 years for us to get our financial lives in order by devising and sticking to a plan that would carry us through the fall of the empire. I do believe it will fall. Preparing us for what we would need in order to survive a financial catastrophe the magniude of which has never been seen before. Remember 2008 and the decline of the real estate giants, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac? The trend of the market went kerplunk. However, it never really revitalized as the government would have us believe. The government is content on fooling us. They are borrowing and borrowing against our money, our reserves. They are in so much debt that I don’t ever see us getting out no matter how much money the Federal Reserve decides to print. They are digging our financial graves. Our money is no longer our money. We get back a mere pittance of what we have invested. But getting back to Michael, from the period of 2008 to 2013 is 5 years… the exact same number of years it took for the great depression of 1937 to 1942, to bottom out. In 2009, 4 more years would be 2013. I believe that Michael saw it coming and he wanted to warn us, to prepare us. However, the government would see that as threatening to their well being. They don’t want us to know! They wil sacrifice us to save themselves. They surely wouldn’t want to warn us, thereby making us stop opening savings accounts and 401ks, buying worthless, over priced real estate, securing loans for everything from A to Z, taking our money out of their banks, exchanging it for other commodities, and the like; in other words being so indebted to them that we would never be able to get our heads above water again when the crisis comes. Michael knew too much. He knew that during the great depression currency was worthless. Interest rates were so high that people basically lost everything. Shops and businesses closed because taxes were so high they couldn’t afford to operate. Gas and oil prices skyrocketed. Everything shut down. People stood in lines to get rations of food. Can you imagine what would happen in this decade if the same were to happen? It would be mass chaos. Lives would be lost. People would die, kill, commit suicide. Not for money but for things like food and water. Money would be worthless. Perhaps Michael was about to let the cat ot of the bag. And if anyone could get the attention of the masses… he could.
I don’t know. There is so much to speculate in Michael’s untimely, unnatural passing. But that he said so definitively that we have only 4 years, it gives me cause to ponder on just exactly what he meant.
Anyway, just thinking out loud. Don’t pay me no mind. I have been known by tose who know me, to say what I think. Even when no one else believes it.
ADDENDUM: Just found this little blog on the web. How fitting. Thought I’d share.
Did Michael Jackson Know Too Much?
Did you know that there was a secret meeting held with all the world leaders as recently as last year, that included every embasy EXCEPT the United States whereby they discussed the probability of reliveing the American dollar of its prestigious title of world reserve currency? Did you know that there are now places in the United States and abroad who are refusing to honor the US dollar for goods and services? Did you know that China is no longer so willing to buy and trade with US currency? The same is happening all over the world and even here in parts of the United States. You didn’t know that, did you? But it is happening as we speak.
When Michael Jackson said we have 4 more years in 2009, it is my thoughts that he was referring to 4 years for us to get our financial lives in order by devising and sticking to a plan that would carry us through the fall of the empire. I do believe it will fall. Preparing us for what we would need in order to survive a financial catastrophe the magniude of which has never been seen before. Remember 2008 and the decline of the real estate giants, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac? The trend of the market went kerplunk. However, it never really revitalized as the government would have us believe. The government is content on fooling us. They are borrowing and borrowing against our money, our reserves. They are in so much debt that I don’t ever see us getting out no matter how much money the Federal Reserve decides to print. They are digging our financial graves. Our money is no longer our money. We get back a mere pittance of what we have invested. But getting back to Michael, from the period of 2008 to 2013 is 5 years… the exact same number of years it took for the great depression of 1937 to 1942, to bottom out. In 2009, 4 more years would be 2013. I believe that Michael saw it coming and he wanted to warn us, to prepare us. However, the government would see that as threatening to their well being. They don’t want us to know! They wil sacrifice us to save themselves. They surely wouldn’t want to warn us, thereby making us stop opening savings accounts and 401ks, buying worthless, over priced real estate, securing loans for everything from A to Z, taking our money out of their banks, exchanging it for other commodities, and the like; in other words being so indebted to them that we would never be able to get our heads above water again when the crisis comes. Michael knew too much. He knew that during the great depression currency was worthless. Interest rates were so high that people basically lost everything. Shops and businesses closed because taxes were so high they couldn’t afford to operate. Gas and oil prices skyrocketed. Everything shut down. People stood in lines to get rations of food. Can you imagine what would happen in this decade if the same were to happen? It would be mass chaos. Lives would be lost. People would die, kill, commit suicide. Not for money but for things like food and water. Money would be worthless. Perhaps Michael was about to let the cat ot of the bag. And if anyone could get the attention of the masses… he could.
I don’t know. There is so much to speculate in Michael’s untimely, unnatural passing. But that he said so definitively that we have only 4 years, it gives me cause to ponder on just exactly what he meant.
Anyway, just thinking out loud. Don’t pay me no mind. I have been known by tose who know me, to say what I think. Even when no one else believes it.
ADDENDUM: Just found this little blog on the web. How fitting. Thought I’d share.
Did Michael Jackson Know Too Much?
Friday, March 18, 2011
Reunion of Robert Redford and Barbara Streisand on Oprah
Yeah on Oprah. Though I am not an Oprah fan, I watched this reunion and when Robert Redford walked out, it made me cry. Why? Because there has always been something in Mr. Redford’s demeanor that reminds me of Michael Jackson. Watch him; his eyes, his smile, his gentleness, his compassion. He has always reminded me of Michael and the life that Michael too should have had. When he walked out you could see the real love and affection these two had for each other. It was real and it was beautiful.
It took me back to June 25, 2009, and losing Michael. We will never get to see him do a reunion show with the loves of his life; Diana Ross, Brooke Shields, Tatiana, Lisa Marie. Never. We will never see him as an aged yet still beautiful human being getting the accolades and trributes he so justly deserved. It is never going to happen. We will never see him get to see his childrens’ eyes as they adoringly watch as their father is being honored. That was stolen from him. It was stolen from us.
Yes, I watched Oprah Winfrey and I cried. Maybe I’m just a silly, sentimental fool. But for Michael, I’m willing to be all of that and more. Michael never got what he deserved. He was just 50, still young and with still so much more to give. We still had so many years yet to go before he reached the ripened golden ages of Redford and Streisand. But nothing would have warmed my heart more than to get to witness him getting there and enjoying the benefits of his successes over all those years. Nothing.
Michael Jackson, you should still be dancing your dream. Your candles burned out long before your Legend ever will. And I do love you, forever more, and still. Forever Speechless.
It took me back to June 25, 2009, and losing Michael. We will never get to see him do a reunion show with the loves of his life; Diana Ross, Brooke Shields, Tatiana, Lisa Marie. Never. We will never see him as an aged yet still beautiful human being getting the accolades and trributes he so justly deserved. It is never going to happen. We will never see him get to see his childrens’ eyes as they adoringly watch as their father is being honored. That was stolen from him. It was stolen from us.
Yes, I watched Oprah Winfrey and I cried. Maybe I’m just a silly, sentimental fool. But for Michael, I’m willing to be all of that and more. Michael never got what he deserved. He was just 50, still young and with still so much more to give. We still had so many years yet to go before he reached the ripened golden ages of Redford and Streisand. But nothing would have warmed my heart more than to get to witness him getting there and enjoying the benefits of his successes over all those years. Nothing.
Michael Jackson, you should still be dancing your dream. Your candles burned out long before your Legend ever will. And I do love you, forever more, and still. Forever Speechless.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
When is the world going to appologize?
Sitting at work today and skimming over some posts made on various fan sites for Michael Jackson I began to feel so very sad for Michael. I could almost feel him moving in my heart, uncomfortable with the words my eyes were seeing. It almost made me physically ill.
When is enough time going to pass where the questions of the 1993 allegations are all satisfactorily answered and the world is at last, convinced that Michael was victimized by that family, thus making it not news worthy anymore? Is it ever going to happen?
The same with the 2005 trial and its lack of credible evidence forcing a not guilty verdict return on all counts. The books written, the professional interviews well publicized proving a case of an entire family out to maliciously persecute Michael Jackson out of greed. The witch hunt of an inept, biased, vindictive District Attorney and his prosecutorial team should be the ones made the object of disgust. But no, that’s not good enough, or news worthy enough to keep the hate going. What in heaven and on earth will it take to make all of that simply go away? When can we be done with that and move on to what is important; correcting many if not all of the wrongs done to Michael Jackson simply because he was who he was by design and purpose? He is owed complete and full retribution and apologies are owed to his children, his mother, his family, his friends. What exactly must one do, how much pain must one endure, how much shame and humiliation must one be forced to suffer for petty whimsical amusement?
Michael Jackson was a human being with feelings and emotions. He was soft spoken, gentle and kind. I cannot even imagine how sad and betrayed he must’ve felt much of his life on this planet, the one he loved and honored and cherished more than life itself. Can you imagine? I simply cannot, not by any means. But I hurt for him, and that hurt feels like a deep, festering, open sore. To him it must’ve been likened to a hot stabbing dagger thrust into his soul, his heart, constantly twisting and tearing and pulling him apart. No mercy. No peace. After so many beatings emotionally, I had begun to see the pain in his eyes; he tears formed behind them before they would fall. I can almost hear his prayers; feel his loneliness and his solitude and his lack of understanding “why he was the object of such hatred and persecution” when he had done so much for so many. What did he do that he should deserve this existence? Did God turn away from him and allow all these monsters and demons to ravish him? What did Michael Jackson do that he became so alienated and ostracized? He loved. He loved God, the world, people. Those were his only crimes. In this world where everything is about envy, greed, and excess love has little value. Michael Jackson who was about love and non worldly things became nothing more to those who used him but a stepping stone to get to a position in life where they felt important. It mattered not that they were breaking his back as a result of it.
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