My Feelings

Father forgive them

For they know not what they do…

The life and death of Michael Jackson paints a sad commentary on the state of humanity in this country, throughout the world.  To take a man who was by nature so gentle and kind and full of hope of saving the planet through love and nurturing our children, and turn him into something to be ridiculed, targeted and ostracized is shameful if not outright criminal.  Michael Jackson was an innovator and a dreamer.  He was a creative genius and a gifted entertainer.  He was beauty inside, outside that had nothing to do with his physical attributes.  Yet even those, no matter in what stage of metamorphosis you found him, were ever still appealing to the senses.   He loved unconditionally, giving what he rarely received with an open hand and an open heart.  He never stopped believing in the human spirit and its ability to change the world.  To his death, he never stopped hoping, loving, and believing in us.  When Michael cried the world cried with him.  His only requests of us were to love the planet and love each other.  If he were able, even now, I believe that Michael would only ask of those who persecuted him that God forgive them, with no desires for retribution. His heart was made that way not by choice but by design.  To me, he was and will always be the face I see in my mind when ever I hear the word “Angel”.

How does this affect me?  Words cannot begin to describe the emptiness, the aloneness, the grief, nor the pain.  I feel depleted of the air I breathe when ever I think of the magnitude, the lengths that people took to insure that this gentle man would no longer be able to spin his magical web.  I feel depressed in knowing with no doubt in my mind, that Michael Jackson was targeted one last time and this time they hit their mark and took him away from us forever.  I am forever humbled by his grace and his courage to stand for what he believed in at any cost. 

What ever the reason so much has been lost to us, especially the joy and wonderment of so many sick and dying children.  Who will now speak up for them?  Who will embrace them and make them feel safe and loved?  Who will go to the hospitals and homes and low lying places and hold them, bring them gifts, smile with them and cry for them?  Who?  Who will delight an audience rendering the greatest show of their lives and then take every penny of its proceeds and donate it to them for what ever they need? Who will stand up under every pressure and continue to work and drum major their cause simply because it is the right thing to do? Who will do ALL those things and do it ONLY for love?  No one!  There was ONLY one and now, because of man and his greed and his envy paired with his desire to rid the world and all its goodness, he is no more…he is gone forever.  And I miss the very essence of him.  Knowing he no longer exists in this realm of time and space immobilizes me and dulls my senses. Knowing that he would still be here were it not for the careless antics of one who is sworn to an oath of service and care.  The pain consumes me.

Now, they have sank to an all time low during this trial of Conrad Murray, parading initially a deathbed picture of Michael Jackson at the UCLA Medical Center; and now an autopsy picture of him.  How long and how far is humanity willing to go to continue to depredate this man?  How far?  How long? Or is there ever going to be an end?  Michael Jackson was a very proud man and he was very private.  This is the final blow for me.  There was no reason to parade his picture in front of the world like that.  What was the point, and is any really good enough?  The only sure end result of having it cast out into cyberspace is that it is destined to become one of the thousands of cruel jokes played at the expense of Michael Jackson.  Has the world no shame as people, fellow human beings?  This man has children, a mother, and siblings; people who love him globally and would give anything to see him treated with respect, treated like you and me.  He is not a curiosity for show and tell.  He is not a 3-eyed monster.  But he has been made the poster child for all that is wrong with society; the shallowness, the envy, the lack of compassion; the bully mentality.  This is what we have come to.  Michael, were he here to speak, would likely only humbly ask that we forgive them, all for love, l.o.v.e. That’s the kind of human being that he was.  The world was not ready for him and as has been proven time and time again. We never deserved him though he proved by example all the days of his life that he loved us more.

Sleep peacefully, sweet angel.  God ordered your steps and you walked them well in your lifetime.  Now you no longer have to walk amongst man.  You are free at last to fly.

In eternal awe; you rocked my world and left me speechless.

CassieforMaxwell

10-12-2011

9-25-2011

25 months on this 25th day.  That’s how long the world has suffered been without its light, Michael Jackson.  I have been online all day today which is something I can hardly do anymore.  It pains me too much.  But today with Reverend Catherin whose guest were Lynton Guest nd Jon Vogel, I started off chatting with them and the soon after participated in Major Love Prayer and every Michael Jackson conversation in between.  Today has been all Michael.

We talked about Invinvible and the history behind it and how we should get it to number 1 come October.  I pledge to do my part to see that come into fruition.  We talked about Sony and how not to support them hurts Michael’s legacy.  It’s not about Sony.  It’s about keeping Michael’s music alive and always heard. We taked about love, l.o.v.e. and Michael’s messages.  And we talked about Michael’s light.  He is thelight of the world.

The trial is starting this week, 9/27/2011 exactly 15 years to the day that I lost my son.  Not a coincidence.  I always feel down on 9/27 and this year would have been a very down time for me were it not for Michael Jackson.  Here comes Michael to save me again.  Angels do that, you know.  Though I will spend my every waking hour with thoughts of my son and memories of days gone by, I cannot dwell in self pity because life goes on and there is still much work to do.  My mind will be occupied with both landmarks and that will keep me sane.

For my son I say, you know how loved and missed you are.  You know how precious are the memories.  But you also know that I will not allow my sorrow to stop me from working for the good of man.  My heart is open wide to those things that require constant care.  15 years without you has only made my dedication stronger.  I do these things because of and not in spite of you.  You were my world.  We were of one accord and we both had a giving spirit.  I continue those things in honor and in memory of you always.

As we embark on September 27, 2011, I do so with an open heart and an open mind.  I know that there will be tryng times.  But as it was so poignantly stated in today’s Major Love Prayer, God has his arms around Michael Jackson and his light is so bright that no one can ignore it.  It will light up the world from LA to Atlanta, to Japan and Africa, and everywhere in between.  Michael’s light will shine.  So I have decided that no matter what happens, no matter the outcome in the courtroom on Clara Ward Blvd, Michael Jackson is already vindicated through the blood of Christ.  He is lifted above man’s laws and outcomes.  The verdict is already in.   With that in mind I say let the games begin and let the children play God in a building made of stone.  Michael is playing in a land far away and made of pure gold.  As he sits back and watches the proceedings I know he will not be troubled.  His children, his mother, his family, his fans will all be victorious.  It’s already written.  It’s already done.

Michael Jackson I love you so much that it feels like another piece of my heart was torn away.  15 years ago and again 25 months ago.  But I can attest to the fact that the heart is a mighty fortress and it will sustain me as long as it be God’s will.  Only His will.

So dear Michael, when all of man’s judging is said and done and this is over, you will still be the victor.  They have no communion over you.  Yours is the Lords.  Thou will shall be done on earth as it is in heaven.  It’s destiny and therfore, Invincible!

Lord have mercy on us al.  Keep us strong and with our eyes on the prize.  The last and greatest judgement is yours.

You still rock my world and leave me speechless.  Always have.  Always will.

Truth runs marathons… so I’ve got to say it

Since Michael’s death, I have been going over something in my mind that has been puzzling me.  Why is it that every effort we set out to accomplish for Michael only half succeeds?  I look at the Tribute Portrait that has only 300,000 signatures or dots assigned.  They should long ago have had 1,000,000.  No question.  I look the the Official Michael Jackson Fan page and there is always bickering.  I visit the death hoax pages and they are bickering.  I see twitter, facebook, Justice pages and everyone is at odds.  Then I suddenly realize what the problem is, Michael Jackson’s fans are unequivocally divided.  First the believers that feel Michael still lives are pitted against the non-believers who says he certainly is dead and that the non-believers are delusional and not real fans.  Then there are the conspiracy therorists who feel that more than one person was involved in Michael’s death.  They believe he died but by circumstances different from what we have been led to believe.  So to oppose them are the ones who are solely Conrad Murray did it fans.  They see the Conspiracy theroist as ruining the chance for anyone to be convicted of Michael’s death.  When in all sincerity, I see that as a real possibility anyway the way things are going.

What is NOT happening is that the FANS of Michael Jackson are working together for one goal.  Everyone is so set on their own agendas that they are not willing to put that aside and work for what we are really all here for, Michael Jackson.   The truth is we will never get 100% of anything until we are.  It is time to forget about our different beliefs and concentrate on the bigger picture.  Let people have their own theories.  That’s their right.  But do not allow that to get in the way when we are working on the vision.  The moderators of all of these different boards can make the difference if they would make it a rule that NO ONE is ridiculed or shunned or bullied because they see a different outcome, a different truth.  No one should be allowed to be verbally abused and that should be the general rule.  If you don’t like a particular thread, oblige onesself to skip it.  It’s all about Michael Jackson and regardlessof our theories or beliefs or “gut feelings”, everyone loves him.  If we intend to accomplish any goal in unision, then we MUST stop thinking that our truth is the only one.  We have got to STOP ostracizing others and come together for the good of the legacy.  Until we do, every effort that’s put out there is going to fail or half succeed.  And that’s not good enough.  Michael Jackson deserves our very best efforts.  He deserves our undivided attention.  He deserves for us to work together, all for love, like he did for us even with all that was stacked agaist him.  He did it and never looked back and never turned the other way.  He DESERVES for us to stand as one for him.  He never divided his love for us.  We must give back as much or more, if even that is possible.  We must.  Can we do it?  I believe we can and we will.

It’s not about you or me.  It’s about Michael Jackson and he deserves the best that we can offer.  So far, I don’t see he’s ever gotten that.  But if anyone in this world ever deserved 100% it is Michael.  If we, the fans whom he loved and gave his entire life to, continue the division and never come together,  he never will get it.  And that will be a greater crime.

Michael I love you more.

Michael's Judas

I can remember somewhere in my treasure trove of Michael Jackson memorabilia, either on video or in manuscript, that Michael said that if he could not help children, if he could not continue to do things for children, he'd might as well be dead.  Surely if I remember that, some other people with the ability to make that happen also heard it.  And on June 25, 2009, some person(s) went about the business of making that statement a truth.  I believe Michael Jackson's death was the work of conspirators.  I believe it with all of my heart.

I also recall Michael Jackson doing hundreds of grueling concerts, attended by millions, whereby he donated every single dime earned to charity.  What does that say to me?  One very important thing it says is that earning and having money was of no value to Michael if it not be shared with those who were less fortunate than him.  It said to me that to earn and pile money on top of money in a bank somewhere unaccounted and uncounted, just for the sake of having it, was of no interest to him.  He would rather give it to Africa, to children in crisis, to victims of disaster than allow it to simply accumulate interest and not be used to help those in need.  Michael Jackson was a philanthropist and nothing was more important to him than healing the world.  Giving back.  Can you imagine then how upset that would make those moguls who stood to lose from all that money he was giving away?  The greedy people who ate, drank and slept money?  Bet they hated seeing all that revenue flying out of their hands and into the hands of the needy of the world.  Yeah.  I'll bet they did. How dare Michael give HIS money away to those people when he could be investing it in the "company" increasing their value and their networth?  What on earth was he thinking?  Helping the down trodden certainly has a limit. And certainly Michael jackson was going above and beyond.  Hell, thats not the way to keep So... I mean the "company" happy.  This kind of nonsense had to end.  So what could be done to change it?  Your guess is as good as mine.  However, I'm gonna tell you what I think, feel, in the pit of my stomach and deep, deep in my heart.  These are my thoughts, so please allow me to have them.

Michael loved children. He loved people. He loved the planet.  In order to get to him, they had to ge at him where he loved most.  And where was that.  The whole world by now knows the answer to that question.  Children.  Make it so he would NEVER be able to visit children in hospitals, never be able to offer them a place to enjoy childhood freely again, never be able to touch or hug a child in public, never be able to say without speculation and words taken out of context, that he loved children more than anything else in the world, never be seen as an advocate for those he relished as the eyes of God again.  Get Michael Jackson where it hurts most by any means necessary, but make it personal and embarrassing and emotionally debilitating.  Give him a Judas in his home and make it nasty.  How?  You purposely brainwash and persuade a child, one whom he had opened his home to, taken into his care, trusted, nurtured, and you perpetuate a plan to mount  the most horrific deception imaginable upon him through that child.  How sinister and cruel.  How betrayed Michael Jackson had to be.  Nothing and I do mean nothing, could have possibly hurt him more.

I believe that Michael Jackson's destruction had been in the making a long time before the actual deed was done.  And I believe it was all for hate, envy and greed.  Three deadly sins all perpetrated against Michael Jackson for reasons that I will not openly state as it is only, at this stage of the game, mere yet real speculation.  However, if there is such a thing as justice in this world, it will all be revealed in time.  I only pray that I live to see the day when all the kings men go down. God is good.

I also believe that after the trials of 2005 that Michael was changed.  Why in God's name would he ever want to perform again to an audience of many who though vindicated, saw him still as guilty and associated him with sinister alliances and ulterior motives?  Why would he continue to line the pockets of an empire who maliciously sought to bring him down and turned their backs on him when his life stood in peril?  He had shown the world that money was not his main focus for performing night after night; month after month.  He did it because he loved performing yes, but mainly because it allowed him to be able to give by the millions to those he loved most.  Now, his purpose had been virtually destroyed.    Martin Bashir was the vehicle used to begin the cycle.  The rest is history.  They took Michael's credibility away, made him a criminal in the eyes of many, and broke Michael's spirit.  His eyes took on  sadness I had never seen.  Even though he won in court, in life, he lost.  His love for children would be forever scrutinized and looked upon with dissecting, probing eyes.  Our Michael Jackson, whom we love unconditionally, would never be the same.  That Michael Jackson had been murdered in the courtroom and the media buried him alive.  We lost. The children lost.  The world lost.  And most of all, Michael Jackson lost.

How freakin appropriate for the fledging criminal!  Did he not say himself that if he could no longer be loved and do things for children that he might as well be dead?  Why not make it appear that he was in that frame of mind and did in fact start on that downward spiral with drugs until finally at the end he medicated himself to death.  (Though he had a little help at the end with Conrad Murray)  But supposedly, that was an incidental, rather "accidental" coincidence.

It is quite obvious to me that the LA court system in the Hollywood arena of glitz and glam, has made it a rule rather than an exception, to look the other way when a person in high visibility in the performance arts is murdered with drugs as the underlying culprit, to find just cause to dismiss medical doctors of any wrong doing.  It has happened over and over again.  It seems they tend to look the other way and let these predators continue to get away with murder.  We cannot allow this to happen with Michael... or can we?  What can we do?  We can advocate.  We can send letters.  We can protest.  We can pray.  There are many things we can do, but what we cannot do is just let this "go away" and let them get away.  Michael Jackson was murdered.  It was pre meditated and it was planned a long time ago.

I am only one voice and this is just my heart speaking.  If you have thoughts, go on a posting mission.  Just let them know that we know, that we are watching, and we will NOT look the other way or be silent.

Michael, I love you too much to sit silently and accept what I see happening right before my eyes.  I will be a voice for you.  I might not be heard, but I'm talking.  I will be always on the side of truth and what is right.  By your example you taught me that. You spoke.   I heard. And I pray the world is also listening.

I will always love you more.

In All of My Life I've Never Been So Ashamed

I don't know how to put into words what my heart is feeling.  All I know for sure is that in my heart there is a huge void and a lot of pain; and both of these are constant and relentless.  Since June 25, 2009, I have come to see my country through a completely different set of eyes, or at least it's judicial process.  When this day came to pass, this June 25, 2009, I had no question that a speedy remedy to these events was sure to take place.  How could it not?  After all, we were talking about the unforgivable crime of murder against America's most beloved son.  Or was I seeing something that America did not see?  I could never have been convinced that after nearly 16 months,  still nothing would have even began to be in resolution.  Nothing!  I am an American.  I believed that truth and justice through a judicial process was the birth right of all of this country's governed citizens.  Was I mistaken?  Is it all a myth under which we have all been shrouded; a false reality, a half truth? I hope and yes, I pray, that there will be a true justice in Michael Jackson's untimely death and that the judicial process will work on behalf of this man who gave his whole life so that millions if not billions of people could learn to love each other and the world of which they are, we are, all an integral part.  Too much of nothing is still too little of anything.  For Michael Jackson's rights and those of his children and his family, America, please stop wasting time and do something.

Is it just another day...?

Thursday, February 25, 2010. One moment in time can change history. Yesterday it was 7 months, today it is 8. Eight months since the passing of Michael Jackson. Eight months since my life and the lives of billions changed forever. Is he disappearing from the minds and our hearts? Is he becoming just another statistic? Just another unsolved mystery? Where is the energy? Has it all gone away? Please do not allow Michael's death to go unpunished. Please do not let them make his life and his death an example of the way justice should NOT be rendered. He deserves so much more. Justice and vindication for Michael. Let your voices be heard. We must speak out on his behalf because his voice was silenced long before the real story was told.