The Angel Who Fell to Earth & Flew Away

I’ll ALWAYS LOVE YOU.  ALWAYS.  NITE WORLD.   PEACE AND LOVE BE WITH YOU.

Should I fall behind, Michael, Wait for me

As we come upon the anniversary date of an angel’s passing, the first of 2012, this is to be my final entry here.  I have loved Michael from afar and will love him always.  Life is fleeting, and love as free as the air that we breathe.  Time dictates that everything that begins, be it good or bad, must also end.  So as I leave dear Michael,  these are my feelings, as found in the words of this song…

Everyone dreams…
But we know what this world can do…

There’s a beautiful river
in the valley ahead….

shoud we lose each other
in the shadow of the evenings’ tree…
I will wait for you
should I fall behind
wait for me...

And as we’re walking
Our hands should slip free
I will wait for you
Should I fall behind...
Wait for me

Blessed are the peacemakers, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Save a place for me, sweet angel, save a place for me.

How could an angel break my heart?

By leaving me and never having said goodbye.  Remember the hunting melody to this Toni Braxton song and the memorable chorus:

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart


Simply beautiful and really heartbreaking.  This is how I feel now without Michael Jackson’s energy being released into the atmosphere.  To this same melody, I have written my own words describing as best I can how I feel most days knowing that Michael Jackson is physically gone away.  


I close my eyes and all I see
is his eyes staring back at me
I try to keep the tears at bay
but they start falling anyway


I try to tell myself that I
must let it go and so I try
but all the pain is just too real
and nothing changes how I feel


Why did an angel break my heart...


I see his pictures on my wall
and to my knees I gently fall
and pray to God to heal my heart
and once again the teardrops start


I still cannot believe he’s gone
and that he’s never coming home
and that his children will grow old
with only memories to behold


Why did an angel break my heart
How could the world tear him apart
How could they stare into those eyes
and still not realize
that he was simply love
no ego, no disguise
that he had more to give the world
but they listened to the lies
and he’s no more…


I try to make sense of it all
how we must heed the Master’s call
and nothing that we do or say
changes the hand of fate that day


I’d give my life so he could be
sharing love unselfishly
I’d gladly change the history
so once again the world would see
him smile...


And all that happened on that day
would simply fade, just go away
and with us he would always stay
come what may
forever and..
a day…


How could an ANGEL break my heart
we should have caught his falling star
there’d be no crying eyes to dry
Heavenly Father, please tell me why
from us our angel had to part
How could an angel break my heart

The best Christmas present I could ever receive

Thank you Barry Gibb for releasing the full video for Michel & your fans.  Love you more.

Behold the Lambs of God

  Today is Christmas, 2011.  It is exactly two years and six months that Michael died for the sin of showing too much love to a world where love and being loved too much is the ultimate sin punishable by the ultimate sacrifice.  As I sit in wonder on this day, the birth of our saviour, Jesus Christ, I am also in awe at the fulfillment of his promises to us.  God came to us for only a little while in the body of Christ.  He was born of a woman, and lived amongst us in the flesh so that we might see the living God through our own eyes, suffering alongside us while working miracles, and emparting unconditional selfless love unto us.  He came to us as a child who grew into a man who walked with us, so that he could show us how much he understood us and that he loved us enough to suffer the same perils did we.  Have you ever just sat and though how totally unselfih that was.  To be loved so much that he would come with one purpose, to die for us on a cross that we be free of all our sins!  I cannot describe what that does to my heart and my soul.  He is the way and the truth and I shall love him always.

I have oftentimes quoted the promise that God made to us that a child shall lead them.  He promised that he would come and I have always believed that that promise was fulfilled in the body of Michael Jackson.  It feels he too had an ultimate purpose on this earth and that his death was the sacrifice that was its fulfillment. Sometimes God uses bad people to do good things.  The death of Michael was by a bad person.  But the change in the hearts of millions and millions of people only came about after the fulfillent had been done.  Michael's death, just like Jesus', turned humanity around.  All around me everywhere is the embodiment of what Michael Jackson's life was about.  The world has changed for the good of all of us.  Deeds of kindness have permiated this planet and in all of it , in every kin deed, we see visbly the workings and teachings of our angel, Michael Jackson.   He too is the truth and I shall love him always.

In Ezekiel 34:25 this profound message stopped me in my tracks: "I wll make a covenant of peace with them and rid the land of wild beasts so that they may live in the desert and sleep in the forests."  

At first read I thought of Michael's Neverland where animals of all types lived peacefully amongst the many people who visited and lived there.  But then upon further pondering the premise became deeper.  Michael Jackson not only brought about a peace with the animals and understood them, but he more profoundly was doing all in his power to increase humility and compassion and love in the world; especially for the children.  He was in fact making a covenant for them to ensure that they might be safe in a world where children are abused and murdered and denied the right to a peaceful co-existence.  The wild beast being the perpetrators of the world who abuse and neglect children and deny them the right to be free to roam.   Michael was working to tame the beast by teaching them the values and importance of the lambs in the world, the children. How profound!

It is lessons like these that keep me constantly faithful to my belief that though Jesus is omnipotent and no one can ever match or even compare to all that he is, I believe that he having lived once upon a time amongst us knows that sometimes as human nature dictates, people need to see the work manifest  by one who has lived and grew up and suffered, yet excelled to become the phoenix, the light amongst us, in order that we can relate to and respond at the level of the heart. This being the same reason that Jesus came in the flesh to abide with and dwell amongst us so many years ago.

He sends us angels because he understands our psyche and wants for us the very best.  In my lifetime, with every beat of my heart, I believe that Michael Jackson was one of them.  

I am not trying to force my beliefs on you, just speaking from my heart.  Michael will always be an angel to me.  God Bless the Lambs of God.

Have a merry Christmas my friends.  Love conquers all.

9-25-2011

25 months on this 25th day.  That’s how long the world has suffered been without its light, Michael Jackson.  I have been online all day today which is something I can hardly do anymore.  It pains me too much.  But today with Reverend Catherin whose guest were Lynton Guest nd Jon Vogel, I started off chatting with them and the soon after participated in Major Love Prayer and every Michael Jackson conversation in between.  Today has been all Michael.

We talked about Invinvible and the history behind it and how we should get it to number 1 come October.  I pledge to do my part to see that come into fruition.  We talked about Sony and how not to support them hurts Michael’s legacy.  It’s not about Sony.  It’s about keeping Michael’s music alive and always heard. We taked about love, l.o.v.e. and Michael’s messages.  And we talked about Michael’s light.  He is thelight of the world.

The trial is starting this week, 9/27/2011 exactly 15 years to the day that I lost my son.  Not a coincidence.  I always feel down on 9/27 and this year would have been a very down time for me were it not for Michael Jackson.  Here comes Michael to save me again.  Angels do that, you know.  Though I will spend my every waking hour with thoughts of my son and memories of days gone by, I cannot dwell in self pity because life goes on and there is still much work to do.  My mind will be occupied with both landmarks and that will keep me sane.

For my son I say, you know how loved and missed you are.  You know how precious are the memories.  But you also know that I will not allow my sorrow to stop me from working for the good of man.  My heart is open wide to those things that require constant care.  15 years without you has only made my dedication stronger.  I do these things because of and not in spite of you.  You were my world.  We were of one accord and we both had a giving spirit.  I continue those things in honor and in memory of you always.

As we embark on September 27, 2011, I do so with an open heart and an open mind.  I know that there will be tryng times.  But as it was so poignantly stated in today’s Major Love Prayer, God has his arms around Michael Jackson and his light is so bright that no one can ignore it.  It will light up the world from LA to Atlanta, to Japan and Africa, and everywhere in between.  Michael’s light will shine.  So I have decided that no matter what happens, no matter the outcome in the courtroom on Clara Ward Blvd, Michael Jackson is already vindicated through the blood of Christ.  He is lifted above man’s laws and outcomes.  The verdict is already in.   With that in mind I say let the games begin and let the children play God in a building made of stone.  Michael is playing in a land far away and made of pure gold.  As he sits back and watches the proceedings I know he will not be troubled.  His children, his mother, his family, his fans will all be victorious.  It’s already written.  It’s already done.

Michael Jackson I love you so much that it feels like another piece of my heart was torn away.  15 years ago and again 25 months ago.  But I can attest to the fact that the heart is a mighty fortress and it will sustain me as long as it be God’s will.  Only His will.

So dear Michael, when all of man’s judging is said and done and this is over, you will still be the victor.  They have no communion over you.  Yours is the Lords.  Thou will shall be done on earth as it is in heaven.  It’s destiny and therfore, Invincible!

Lord have mercy on us al.  Keep us strong and with our eyes on the prize.  The last and greatest judgement is yours.

You still rock my world and leave me speechless.  Always have.  Always will.

777 DAYS WITHOUT HIM

I don’t know if it was wishful thinking or a secret prayer that today something earth shattering would happen in this Michael Jackson story.  777 is the number that is synonymous with Michael; his favorite number.  It’s turned out to be just another ordinary day to most peole.  However, for me, it is a turning point.  One that I have dreaded since June 25, 2009.  It’s a day when I did not cry when I litened to Gone Too Soon.  I didn’t cry and that makes me sad.  That song has always brought a tear to my eye, that would slowly descend down my face.  And today, my tears did not come.  It scares me.  I don’t want to lose Michael in my heart.  But I fear, and this is my greatest fear, that Michael will fade away from me.

I don’t know if this is how other people feel, but for me, it is sad.  I have started sleeping at night again.  I have stopped listening to his music 24/7.  I have begin to pick back up the pieces of my life… and they are beginning to fit in the right places.  There was a time when none of them fit.  My mind and my heart was so broken, in such disarray, that I thought I would never get back to normal again.  But I feel it coming.  And to me, it is not eing met with any happiness or joy.

I feel like I’m cheating him, turning my back on him, when I don’t break into a million pieces at just the mention of his name.  But I don’t do it anymore.  At times I feel deja vue, but most times I am able to get through it and go on to being the old me.  I am afraid.  I don’t want to lose Michael Jackson.  I don’t want to be free.  Why is he freeing me?  I don’t understand.

777 days and nights of sadness is not enough.  I want 777 more, and 777 again.  But it seems God is healing what he sees as my wounded spirit and giving me a new beginning.  Am I being ungrateful because I don’t want it?  I don’t know what I will do with my life, my time.  I have filled every corner of my life with Michael since 6/25/2009.  He has been my focus and my every thought has been of or about him.  What will I do?

There s a quote that has always been a favorite of mine, today it says what I feel about Michael Jackson’s abrupt departure from this earth:

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep, 

But I have promises to keep, 

And miles to go before I sleep, 

And miles to go before I sleep.”

Dear Michael, I will always love you more.  When all is said and done, I will ALWAYS LOVE you MORE.

Truth runs marathons… so I’ve got to say it

Since Michael’s death, I have been going over something in my mind that has been puzzling me.  Why is it that every effort we set out to accomplish for Michael only half succeeds?  I look at the Tribute Portrait that has only 300,000 signatures or dots assigned.  They should long ago have had 1,000,000.  No question.  I look the the Official Michael Jackson Fan page and there is always bickering.  I visit the death hoax pages and they are bickering.  I see twitter, facebook, Justice pages and everyone is at odds.  Then I suddenly realize what the problem is, Michael Jackson’s fans are unequivocally divided.  First the believers that feel Michael still lives are pitted against the non-believers who says he certainly is dead and that the non-believers are delusional and not real fans.  Then there are the conspiracy therorists who feel that more than one person was involved in Michael’s death.  They believe he died but by circumstances different from what we have been led to believe.  So to oppose them are the ones who are solely Conrad Murray did it fans.  They see the Conspiracy theroist as ruining the chance for anyone to be convicted of Michael’s death.  When in all sincerity, I see that as a real possibility anyway the way things are going.

What is NOT happening is that the FANS of Michael Jackson are working together for one goal.  Everyone is so set on their own agendas that they are not willing to put that aside and work for what we are really all here for, Michael Jackson.   The truth is we will never get 100% of anything until we are.  It is time to forget about our different beliefs and concentrate on the bigger picture.  Let people have their own theories.  That’s their right.  But do not allow that to get in the way when we are working on the vision.  The moderators of all of these different boards can make the difference if they would make it a rule that NO ONE is ridiculed or shunned or bullied because they see a different outcome, a different truth.  No one should be allowed to be verbally abused and that should be the general rule.  If you don’t like a particular thread, oblige onesself to skip it.  It’s all about Michael Jackson and regardlessof our theories or beliefs or “gut feelings”, everyone loves him.  If we intend to accomplish any goal in unision, then we MUST stop thinking that our truth is the only one.  We have got to STOP ostracizing others and come together for the good of the legacy.  Until we do, every effort that’s put out there is going to fail or half succeed.  And that’s not good enough.  Michael Jackson deserves our very best efforts.  He deserves our undivided attention.  He deserves for us to work together, all for love, like he did for us even with all that was stacked agaist him.  He did it and never looked back and never turned the other way.  He DESERVES for us to stand as one for him.  He never divided his love for us.  We must give back as much or more, if even that is possible.  We must.  Can we do it?  I believe we can and we will.

It’s not about you or me.  It’s about Michael Jackson and he deserves the best that we can offer.  So far, I don’t see he’s ever gotten that.  But if anyone in this world ever deserved 100% it is Michael.  If we, the fans whom he loved and gave his entire life to, continue the division and never come together,  he never will get it.  And that will be a greater crime.

Michael I love you more.

25 months of pain and joy

I cannot believe that it has been 2 years and 1 month tomorrow without Michael Jackson.  It is hard for me to believe that I made it.  I never thought I could.  My heart and my spirit were so broken when Michael died that it took a real effort to remember to breathe.  At times I found myself breathless and gasping for air.  As if my lungs were closed and could not accept the air they needed to function.  Sleep escaped me.  I went days and days without being able to close my eyes and rest.  I had no appetite for food, only for information and pictures and words and song, anything… everything that put Michael back where he belonged, in this world with me.  It worked, for a time, and then the more that I learned about his death and all the intricate details surrounding it, even those things became mundane and it became my passion to try to piece the puzzle together that was just beginning to form.  And it was huge.  Larger than life and more sinister than I would have ever imagined.  It was the most horrible news I had ever gotten, that Michael Jackson had died.  But it became multiplied exponitiously when I learned that he didn’t just die, but was taken from us.  That made my grief, my pain, my emotional despair all the more complex.  I was angry. I was hurt.  I was a total, complete mess of a human being.  As I said, I never thought I would be here today, especially totally calm and enjoying the many, many gifts left behind by this man I’ve come to call simply Angel.  But I am.  I am totally at peace in knowing that after 25 months, the world is more Michaelish.  Things are happening that never would have happened, major things, had it not been for Michael’s death.  And because I believe in God and His promise, one being that a child will lead them, I believe that Michael was taken back, albeit abruptly, because he had done what God had planned for him to do.  He is embedded in our hearts forever.  And if he is there, so is his vision.  We know what Michael’s vision was as well or even better than we know our own.  And we see it coming into fruition and even exploding across the planet where it is needed most.  So joyously I say, there is a lot of Michael in the world.  Though he be not here in the physical form, he is forever here in the hearts of those who loved him or who have gotten to love him since his passing.

Be ever wonderful my Angel of calm and peace.  In 25 short months, Michael Jackson has impacted the world more than any other human being dead or living with his message of love for all of God’s creations.  That could only have been attained by one from a higher source, and I believe in my heart, that Michael Jackson is that child of whom’s coming we had been foretold.

Life is fleeting, but love lives forever.  Michael is love.  He will never, ever die.

The very thought of him or the mention of his name, gives me unyielding joy and always, but always renders me forever speechless.  I will always love him more.

Cassie for Maxwell
7/24/2011

Response to MuzikFactoryTwo Blog

I have so very often thought about the things of which you speak.  It is going to be very difficult being a Michael Jackson offspring in this society where everyone will be out there to exploit them, and will lay in wake for any occasion to degredate their integrity, simply because of their parentage.  I have often times spoken publicly about their safety first and all else that stands to follow in abundance due to them simply being who they are. Of course I got slammed as expected.  But the truth is the truth and as Michael said it runs marathons around anything else.   I agree with you 100% that these children should be better protected.  They are too visible and are not being raised according to Michael’s standards of care.  If not Debbie Rowe, somebody needs to step in and raise these children in a responsible manner. Rhinocerris skin comes from years and years of being outcast with all odds against, and being forced  to cope with those circumstances alone because no one stood by you through it all.  Those children might think that they are prepared for any and everything, but in truth, they don’t know what they are potentially up against and it will get worse long before it gets better.  They, unfortunately, are not like other children no matter how hard they try to be.  They are heirs to a fortune and there will ALWAYS be danger attached to that.  There will always be a negative mark attached to them as long as there is tabloid media and those  people who will always hate Michael Jackson.  The children MUST be protected and shielded from the evil that prevails because it’s not going anywhere.

I wish the very best for Paris, Prince and Blanket.  I really wish they could just grow up normally and be like other children.  But they cannot.  They are special, like it or not, and it is IMPERATIVE that they be protected as the royalty that they are.  Their lives depend on it.

I often have thought of them in the same vein as the Kennedy children.  Camelot is a beautiful, priviledged existence; but it is also an extremly hard place to find onesself inherrent in.  The Kennedy’s had everything one could dream of, but the children, and especially the name sakes, lost themselves in the process to.  I so do not want to see Michael’s children grow up to be lost in the world.  I do not want to see their names in the tabloids for any reason but certainly not for an negativity.  They are at an impressionable age where they are coming into their own personalities and it is at this time that they need more guidance and direction, not less. They cannot be turned loose to run worry and carefree. There are real, dangers in being who they are.  The things they are being allowed to do in my opinion is MADNESS.  Sound decisions MUST be made by someone with ONLY their best interests at heart. Tough love is a definite must.

My friend, I wholeheartedly agree that at this point, something has to change.  I don’t like what I see and the complications that are possible if they continue in the direction they are taking.  Wrong road that could lead them head on into hardship, harm and total disaster.

Please protect Michael’s children.  If we did not get to help Michael before we lost him, we can at least do the next best thing in advocating for love and protection of the one thing that he would have unquestionably given his life for, his children.

The day that changed my life forever...

is here again.  The reason for me deciding to delve into the cyber world because I had to find an outlet to release all the pain from learning of the senseless utimely death; all the frustration from not being told the truth and hearing all the media lies and heartless rumors; and all the love that has been growing inside me for over 45 years and is never ending, for this man, Michael Jackson.  Now comes the day that I wish I could magically wave a wand and erase from history forever.  But I can’t, and thus, I am here again to say Michael, I love you and I always will.

Life will never be the same.  Michael Jackson left us unnaturally, ans that truth keeps me in a state of forever sadness.  He had so much more to give.

Last night I went to bed knowing that today would be a day of the saddest of my memories; memories that will be with me for the rest of my days, for as long as I breathe on this earth.  I hope that Michael’s children, his mother, his father, and all of his brothers, sisters, family has found their own ways to have some semblance of peace within themselves allowing them to freely and with reverence honor the wonderful man that their father, son, brother, relation was to everyone and every living thing on this planet.  I hope they can find some way of pushing from their minds the many cruelties done to their beloved Michael on this day, and simply pause to give him and his memory all of their energy and love.  Nothing else matters today. Nothing.  God bless Michael’s family.  Take care of them.

My day will be filled with tears, tears that have become my constant companion and friend.  It will be filled with Michael’s voice and his image.  It will be filled with memories; the good ones and the bad.  But it will be more than anything else, filled with love for the one human being that I believe with all my being, was the Angel that God sent to us with messages of love and forgiveness for our generation, who became the sacrificial lamb to save the world.  Michael Jackson was a lamb of God.  And he took him back just like he did thousands of years ago.  When will the world ever be ready to receive what God freely gives us?  I don’t know the answer.  I only know that until we do, there will be more angels come down to save us and only when it is too late will we recognize them, just like Jesus and just like Michael Jackson.

I love you and I miss the presence of Michael Jackson in my life.  Never in my lifetime and not for many lifetimes to come will there ever be another Michael.  He was not one in a million.  He was a million in one.

52 years ago, an angel came to bring us the promise of greater things to come.  Two years ago, that angel was taken back because the world did not recognize who he was.  When Michael died, the angels cried, and their tears now fall from our weeping eyes.

Michael Jackson, I will always love you most.

My Poem for Paris Jackson created June 20, 2010 - For Father’s Day

Especially for Paris on Father's Day

Joined: Aug 2009
United States


Sunday, June 20, 2010 - 11:36


CassieForMaxwell:




A child is missing a father today
a father is missing a son
a wife is missing the love of her life
a mother's tears, once again has begun


The world is missing an angel
who was here, but for only a while
a magical being of song and dance
compassion, and love, and style
the most giving heart
the most beautiful smile


From all of us who loved him
on this year's Father's day
We pause just to remember you
each in our chosen way


I choose to go to church today
to send a special prayer
that mothers, fathers, children
on the planet everywhere


will never take for granted
a caring father's love
and celebrate him everyday
and pray to the heavens above


Believe….


that though he might be gone away
his love will still always sustain
for in your heart he'll be with you
to comfort and ease your pain


So here's to Michael's baby girl
of which she will always be
Paris, this is my special song
that I pass to you from me


Always know throughout your life
where ever you are in this world
that daddy saved all his butterfly kisses
for his precious, baby girl

For those of us who love Anime' Butter Fly Kisses. 
I dedicate this video to Paris Jackson, 
and all the daddy's baby girls in the world.


Happy Fathers day, daddy


http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x303b0_amv-butterfly-kisses_music

Still broken hearted

I am sitting here in my little place in my home where I watch and listen to and have dedicated to my Michael Jackson.  This is his place.  Nothing else can invade it.

I’ve just finished watching, again, Bad in Japan, 1987.  Preparing to watch, yet again, Michael Jackson Commemorated days leading to his 45th birthday.  But in between these 2 very special treasured memories, I have once again opened the pages to Michael’s things, Neverland Lost, and I am in tears.  It’s very hard for me to look at these beautiful personal belongings of our Michael.  They have been boxed up and pushed away as it feels sometimes Michael was.  Just seeing them, especially the items with his makeup still around the collars, the shoes with the missing gormet bearing his name on the sole, the things that made up his life.  The telling things like the many little statues and trinkets and artifacts that spoke louder than any words ever could, of his lonliness and his aching desire to recreate the childhood he never had.  To see them, in all their glory, yet in all their simplicity, makes me once again go there.  Where you ask… back to the time when Michael Jackson was happy.  Back to the joy inside his tears.  Back to his Neverland where he at least was surrounded by the things that gave him comfort and a sense of belonging.  When he lost that… he lost a greater piece of himself.  I truly feel as much.

I ask myself why, why couldn’t they let him have the one thing in his life that gave him peace? His home.  The home built from the imagination of a child in an adult world.  The home were he felt safe and surrounded by familiar things.  The place that gave him back a piece of the childhood that passed him by.  Was that too much to ask?  Michael never asked anything of the world except his privacy.  No matter how much he sacrificed for others, to give us and everyone around him joy and magic and a piece of heaven on earth, he never required we give him anything in return.  Never asked for recognition.  Never asked anything more than we see him as a human being, a good man.  And that he was.  None before and none after will ever measure up no matter how hard one might try.  It’s just not in the stars.  Michael held the universe in his gently, worn hands and he handled it with care.

I don’t know why God allowed Michael to suffer so much.  There are some things that only God holds the answers to.  I guess this is one of them.  50 years is such a short life for one so full of life and love for every living, breathing thing.  For one who had such vibrance and fire, 50 years is not long at all.  He surely had 50 more had the tables not turned against him.  But I guess one might say, that’s all water under the bridge now.  I know however, that the water is surely troubled at his crossing over so soon.

I am still broken hearted and I seem to get more and more saddened as the days fall away towards 2 years.  I don’t know that I will ever return to the person I was pre 6/25/09.  I only know that it’s coming and nothing can turn back the hands of time.  So I will play the songs, read the books, watch the performances, and shed the tears in my Michael room possibly for the rest of my life.  Will it ever get easier? Maybe.  Will it ever not give me cause to reflect? Never.  Will I treasure these things for the rest of my life? Definitely.

Michael Jackson, I will never let your memory part, for you’re always on my mind and forever in my heart.  You are so beautiful to me...

There is no greater Love...

than the love given to us by Jesus Christ and Michael Jackson.

They both toiled through unimaginable torture simply because they loved us and wanted more than anything for us to love each other and the planet.  That was their ONLY request and it became their greatest and only crime; love, l.o.v.e.  What manner of human being hates one so for no reason?  What manner of person considers  the premise of love the ultimate, unforgivable crime?  How does one become “that” person?  What has happened in his or her life to allow him to view one who is non-violent, and unselfish as something to loathe and persecute at will?

I leadeth thee besides the still waters… the place where both Jesus and Michael wanted us all to be, peacefully.  Yes, I place Michael Jackson in the same category that I place Jesus Christ.  They were both born of woman.  They were both magical and amusing.  They could hold us in warm captivity with a single glance, or cause us to experience euphoria with the twist of a hand.  They gave themselves away that we might have hope.  They never stopped saying “I love you” and showing it with every strength in their beings.  And they never raised a hand against those who betrayed, persecuted and prosecuted them.  Two angels on earth, who walked with us, talked with us, lived for us, died trying to protect us and show us a better way, the righteous way.  They were both Angels of God.  Michael Jackson was our generation’s Messiah, our messenger sent with a purpose… the same purpose that placed Jesus Christ on earth thousands of yeas ago.  And still, our eyes are blinded by the light and we cannot see.

Too late the hero… or could it be still too soon?  Forever is a long time.  Maybe in another couple thousand years, God will give us one more chance.  However, those of us who live today and many generations to come will never see him.  We were given a gift and we didn’t appreciate it.  Now that gift has been taken back.  How soon we forget that sometimes tomorrow never comes.

Michael was the Angel in m lifetime.  I take him with me where ever I go.  I believe in God’s promise that a child will lead us.  In my lifetime, Michael Jackson was that child.  God bless him.

I still cannot feel it… is it because I still don’t believe it?

It has been almost 2 years now and I still don’t feel like Michael is really gone.  I know in my head that he is no longer present with us; but something in my heart will not let go.  What is wrong with me?  I fall to sleep some nights and cannot rest.  It’s as if something is tugging at me, nudging me.  It won’t allow me peace.  I get up and am immediately drawn to anything Michael (of which there is quite a lot to choose from).  I have to see him, hear him; a picture, a song, a video, anything so long as it is Michael.  Nothing else will calm me.  Nothing else can calm me.  It’s as though he’s saying to me, not yet.  You cannot go to sleep without a little bit of me in your head as is always in your heart.

Sometimes it makes me sad and I cry myself to sleep with him being the last thing on my wakeful mind.  So my dreams are filled with his eyes.  Other times it makes me happy, and I dance and sing with him until near daybreak (Break of Dawn) until I am so exhausted I literally fall into his arms of blissful contentment.

I guess the only way to describe it is that Michael Jackson is so much a part of me, that at times, I feel he is still here.  He never left me and he never will.  I pray there will never be a day in my life when I can simply close my eyes and his are not there anymore.  Should that ever happen I fear will be the death of me.  I live through my every thought of him.  I will die should my thoughts ever become devoid of him.  I know it. I will.  He is the light of my life.  Thoughts of him allows my world to continue to go around.  It seems he keeps me sane in times of complete insanity.  He makes me strong, when people try with words to hurt me.  I always think of what he endured and know that words are just that, and I smile knowing that I can take it because Michael did.  He took so much more, who then am I to let it get me down?  I think of him and I stand tall.  It’s all for you Michael.  It’s all for love.

So maybe I still cannot feel it because in my world, he never died.  He simply went away to a place with noname where I can always see him when I need him.  Be it every minute or just before I lay me down.  He is always here, ever present, and his eyes are smiling.  They are beautiful

When is the world going to appologize?

Sitting at work today and skimming over some posts made on various fan sites for Michael Jackson I began to feel so very sad for Michael.  I could almost feel him moving in my heart, uncomfortable with the words my eyes were seeing.  It almost made me physically ill.

When is enough time going to pass where the questions of the 1993 allegations are all satisfactorily answered and the world is at last, convinced that Michael was victimized by that family, thus making it not news worthy anymore?  Is it ever going to happen?

The same with the 2005 trial and its lack of credible evidence forcing a not guilty verdict return on all counts.  The books written, the professional interviews well publicized proving a case of an entire family out to maliciously persecute Michael Jackson out of greed.  The witch hunt of an inept, biased, vindictive District Attorney and his prosecutorial team should be the ones made the object of disgust.  But no, that’s not good enough, or news worthy enough to keep the hate going.  What in heaven and on earth will it take to make all of that simply go away?  When can we be done with that and move on to what is important; correcting many if not all of the wrongs done to Michael Jackson simply because he was who he was by design and purpose?  He is owed complete and full retribution and apologies are owed to his children, his mother, his family, his friends.  What exactly must one do, how much pain must one endure, how much shame and humiliation must one be forced to suffer for petty whimsical amusement?  

Michael Jackson was a human being with feelings and emotions.  He was soft spoken, gentle and kind.  I cannot even imagine how sad and betrayed he must’ve felt much of his life on this planet, the one he loved and honored and cherished more than life itself.  Can you imagine?  I simply cannot, not by any means.  But I hurt for him, and that hurt feels like a deep, festering, open sore.  To him it must’ve been likened to a hot stabbing dagger thrust into his soul, his heart, constantly twisting and tearing and pulling him apart.  No mercy. No peace.  After so many beatings emotionally, I had begun to see the pain in his eyes;   he tears formed behind them before they would fall.  I can almost hear his prayers; feel his loneliness and his solitude and his lack of understanding “why he was the object of such hatred and persecution” when he had done so much for so many.  What did he do that he should deserve this existence?  Did God turn away from him and allow all these monsters and demons to ravish him? What did Michael Jackson do that he became so alienated and ostracized?   He loved. He loved God, the world, people.  Those were his only crimes.  In this world where everything is about envy, greed, and excess love has little value.   Michael Jackson who was about love and non worldly things became nothing more to those who used him but a stepping stone to get to a position in life where they felt important.  It mattered not that they were breaking his back as a result of it.

The trial is coming and guess who’s back - Yeah…him

…Martin Bashir on MSNBC debuting on 2/28/2011.  This is an insult to Michael Jackson, his children, his mother, his family and  a slap in the face to all who love him.  How convenient that Martin be hired “just in the nick of time” to report on the trial.  How amazingly convenient.  He really should be behind bars for his unconventional, purposely maninipulative style of mis representation of his subject.  But, such is the way of the world.  What puzzles me is how a man can be so arrogant and pompous as to literally lead a kind, loving, innocent human being down a path of total destruction that culminated in his death and be able to sit tall in front of millions and contine to perpetuate the fraud?  As if he did nothing wrong; as if he had no hand in Michaels demise.  Martin Bashir destroyed Michael Jackson.  He killed his spirit long before the Conrad Murrays of the world were even thought about.  He made Michael into a lonely, reclusive, terrified man.  He made Michael lose his belief in humanity and mankind.  He took away Michael’s strength, his light, when he made it impossible for him to carry on the mission he worked tirelessly to achieve; healing the world through love for our children.  Now he sits high on his throne, unscathed, as if he is a law abiding, upstanding human being.  How does that happen?  Why?  Because America allowed it.  Michael Jackson was America’s brightest star and America sat back and allowed him to be shot down.  America did not stand by, beside, nor behind him.  He was not cherished or protected by her.  She turned her back on him and never once glanced over her shoulder to make sure that he was okay.  I am an American and I am ashamed at how we dishonored and failed to embrace this  hero, this legend, this irreplaceable treasure.  What message do we send to the planet when we still allow people like Martin Bashir to sit in representation of us?  Speak for us?  Report for us?  Ask yourselves then tell me if I am delusional.  Many think that I am.  But then, so did they think the same of Michael Jackson at times.  I’ll say this and I’m done for now; being delusional it seems sometimes puts one in the company of angels and saints  i.e. Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King, Michael Jackson… Need I go on?

Michael was...

When I think back over the life of Michael Jackson, I become saddened.  Why? Because I see a man who was thrust into the world as a very young child, too young to understand what manner of evil lay in wake for him.  He was from the very start a bright, exuberant, enthusiastic, self assured child whose trust came naturally.  He was inquisitive, determined, happy, and remarkably talented even then.  He was a prodigy. He was born with everything he would ever need to carry him above and beyond. He worked hard, yes. But he also perfected everything he set out to do. It was always excellent.  ALWAYS.  Yet he never felt it was as good as it could be. Unbelievable! Michael Jackson was God’s gift to humanity. I believe that.  Never before and never again will there ever be one whose light was so bright that it shone in everything he touched be it music or dance, art or creative writing, speaking or singing.  God granted him everything he woud require to hone his craft and he gave him a heart big enough to hold so much love that it simply oozed out of him no matter how people tried to persecute him.  He never hardened.  He just wasn’t made that way.

I will always love him.  Nothing can ever sway my belief that he was purposely put in our midst to save us from ourselves.  So many just didn’t get it and never will.  Their loss.  Yet it doesn’t change the facts.  He was given a Judas who lived in his midst.  He was criticized and ostracized and lied on and denied the life, love, liberty and pursuit of happiness promised to every human being, by human beings, who are fallible and ever changing.  He was rediculed, persecuted, prosecuted and then he was crucified.  Same story.  Different time.

How long will it take for the world to heed the messages:  Know your history lest you be forced to re-visit it.

Sadly, we just did.

Today is just another day

…but it is a day that has me filled with all kinds of mixed emotions.  Up one minute.  Down the next.  I read Martin Bashir is coming back to MSNBC on the 28th of February.  How is this so?  What can we do or say to get the point across that Martin Bashir is a co-conspirtor in a murder… a very monumental, complex murder?  I mean at times it gets depressing.  It is nearing time for the trial of Conrad Murray and deep down inside I feel he’s not going to get what he deserves.  Yet I pray I am wrong and that he will at least be found guilty on this lesser charge he has been given.  4 years for murdering in cold blood, an angel.  God must surely be disgusted with this world and its people.  I don’t know how much longer I can continue to allow this to disparage me.  I am only one and powerless to make any changes big enough to make a real difference.  Still I try.  If only the world knew what that man meant in my life.  If only they knew how many times I have turned on and listened to his words or read his books or just looked into those calming, beautiful eyes and found solace in an otherwise chatotic existence.  He saved me.  How can I not be there for him?  I can’t not be.  I made a promise to myself on June 25, 2009, that I would see it through; stand up and be counted in the numbers of those who would do all in their power to institute the change he lived and died for.  I will not stop now.  I am tired.  I am weary.  But when I think of all he did, and how weary he must have been, and all the pains he suffered to make sure that the world would be made better for those who were weak and sick and disheartened, I gather that second wind.  It is coming.  It is going to be hard.  But I will stand with the millions upon millions and hold my head high.  Michael Jackson needs our voices.  He cannot speak for himself.  Dr. Conrad Murray killed Michael Jackson.  Time has not changed that.  And… it never will.  All he asked is that we be there, to cry at the same time, and never let go of his hand.  Across the continents, let his will be done.

In my trials, and my tribulations - will you still care? Will you be there?

The IV bag had propofol just poured into it and the reason I believe an actual bottle was inside was because Murray dropped it in while filling the IV and was either too damn sorry or didn't want to put his hand in there to pull it out.  This bastard just filled the bag with propofol and left Michael in the room so so he could go and talk to his whores or what ever the hell he was occupying his time with, without having to to be disturbed by his patient needing is assistance.  If that's not a socio psycho path, then who is?  Even with all of that being illustrated, they are still going to try to say that Michael injected or even drank the stuff himself.  They are trying still to implicate that the empty bottle (200 ml) found on the floor and the syringe and the broken needle are all the handy work of Michael injecting or trying to inject himself.  I'm not buying it.  Not for one second.  And for Joe jackson to be buddied up with Brian Oxman outside his son's hearing for his murder, still implying that Michael was an addict, is scandalous and a damn shame.  All Joe wants is publicity so he can win or try to win his case against AEG.  He is actually having his civil case heard during Michael's criminal death case.  So where does his priorities lie?  Scandalous!  A poor excuse for a man and/or a father.  Has he ever really LOVED MICHAEL JACKSON?  I mean really.  Why not give the media something to make fun of again, Joe.  Wow.  Way to go.

But I digress, the loophole that will probably allow this foolishness to be allowed in court is Murray saying that he gave MJ 25 ml of the drug which would put him down for only 10 minutes.  Murray claiming "conveniently" not to have been in the room for longer than that gives him his alibi., and a window of opportunity for him to assert that he wasn't in there so unless someone else entered and injected MJ, then MJ injected himself.  This is going to get ugly, especially next week when they discuss the autopsy.  Don't think I'll be able to take hearing all the details of Michael being dissected.  I don't think I can.

All of this is driving me insane.  It's unbelievable and unbearable to think that almost 1000 ml of this shit was put into Michael's body because it was an "inconvenience" to Murray to do what he was getting overly paid to do. That man should be institutionalized forever.  He is a menace to society, better yet, the devil incarnate.  Evil inside and out.

Keep praying and please write a letter to the DA and ask that they up the charges in this case.  It is a travesty of justice for this man to only be facing at the most 4 years, if he even gets that.  This is sinful and I know God is not satisfied.  Look at all the apocalyptic things that are happening since Michael's death.  Read Revelations.  They'd better wake up and recognize.  2012 might just be more than a prediction.  It feels like the end is surely near.  You don't mess with God's children.  Did they learn nothing from history?