Michael’s baby girl

Happy birthday, Michael Jackson.  For the rest of my life this day will hold a special meaning.  It’s the day when the heavens gathered in its arms a bundle of joy and laid him into the arms of the world.  We had him.  He had us.  For a little while.  But long enough to know that God smiled on him and he gave that smile and all the love our hearts could hold to each and every one of us every day of his life.

I will love you always.

For Paris Jackson - A poem I wrote for you on Father’s Day 2009 

A child is missing a father today
a father is missing a son
a wife is missing the love of her life
a mother's tears, once again has begun


The world is missing an angel
who was here, but for only a while
a magical being of song and dance
compassion, and love, and style
the most giving heart
the most beautiful smile


From all of us who loved him
on this year's Father's day
We pause just to remember you
each in our chosen way


I choose to go to church today
to send a special prayer
that mothers, fathers, children
on the planet everywhere


will never take for granted
a caring father's love
and celebrate him everyday
and pray to the heavens above


Believe….


that though he might be gone away
his love will still always sustain
for in your heart he'll be with you
to comfort and ease your pain


So here's to Michael's baby girl
of which she will always be
Paris, this is my special song
that I pass to you from me


Always know throughout your life
where ever you are in this world
that daddy saved all his butterfly kisses
for his precious, baby girl

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Birthday Michael Jackson

I’m sending balloons filled with love to you, floating free through the skies above.  It always makes me sad when I think of how you would be so proud today to see all the changes made in your honor.  You deserved to be present in the flesh to receive them.  But as fate has dealt it’s hand in this game of life, you cannot be.  And speaking frankly for me, that sucks.

But today is your day.  This day 53 years ago an angel was sent down to this earth to blow us away.  He came with dance and song and rhyme and reason and love so pure that it radiated from every pore in his body.  That angel was Michael Jackson.  As I go through this day, I will reflect on all the joy and all the gifts you gave to the world unselfishly.  I honor your birth.  I honor you.

Happy birthday, Michael Jackson.  For the rest of my life this day will hold a special meaning.  It’s the day when the heavens gathered in its arms a bundle of joy and laid him into the arms of the world.  We had him.  He had us.  For a little while.  But long enough to know that God smiled on him and he gave that smile right back to us every day of his life.

I love you, Michael.  I always will.

777 DAYS WITHOUT HIM

I don’t know if it was wishful thinking or a secret prayer that today something earth shattering would happen in this Michael Jackson story.  777 is the number that is synonymous with Michael; his favorite number.  It’s turned out to be just another ordinary day to most peole.  However, for me, it is a turning point.  One that I have dreaded since June 25, 2009.  It’s a day when I did not cry when I litened to Gone Too Soon.  I didn’t cry and that makes me sad.  That song has always brought a tear to my eye, that would slowly descend down my face.  And today, my tears did not come.  It scares me.  I don’t want to lose Michael in my heart.  But I fear, and this is my greatest fear, that Michael will fade away from me.

I don’t know if this is how other people feel, but for me, it is sad.  I have started sleeping at night again.  I have stopped listening to his music 24/7.  I have begin to pick back up the pieces of my life… and they are beginning to fit in the right places.  There was a time when none of them fit.  My mind and my heart was so broken, in such disarray, that I thought I would never get back to normal again.  But I feel it coming.  And to me, it is not eing met with any happiness or joy.

I feel like I’m cheating him, turning my back on him, when I don’t break into a million pieces at just the mention of his name.  But I don’t do it anymore.  At times I feel deja vue, but most times I am able to get through it and go on to being the old me.  I am afraid.  I don’t want to lose Michael Jackson.  I don’t want to be free.  Why is he freeing me?  I don’t understand.

777 days and nights of sadness is not enough.  I want 777 more, and 777 again.  But it seems God is healing what he sees as my wounded spirit and giving me a new beginning.  Am I being ungrateful because I don’t want it?  I don’t know what I will do with my life, my time.  I have filled every corner of my life with Michael since 6/25/2009.  He has been my focus and my every thought has been of or about him.  What will I do?

There s a quote that has always been a favorite of mine, today it says what I feel about Michael Jackson’s abrupt departure from this earth:

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep, 

But I have promises to keep, 

And miles to go before I sleep, 

And miles to go before I sleep.”

Dear Michael, I will always love you more.  When all is said and done, I will ALWAYS LOVE you MORE.